tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post4783829611880139592..comments2023-10-30T09:14:27.703-07:00Comments on Mothering Nature: stinking flowersJackiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452150467051762515noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-28439406270807836952010-03-25T09:12:08.856-07:002010-03-25T09:12:08.856-07:00Oh - I feel the same way. We took about the flora...Oh - I feel the same way. We took about the floral arrangements from my son's funeral at the reception and gave them to all the children to play with. Unfortunately we ended up with a plant at our house. I don't keep plants alive well. Something to do with the watering regularly. Anyway, I now have this plant that I have managed to keep barely alive for 2+ years. It is a burden. I feel like if I let it die then I am letting my son die again. When we go on vacation I am stressed the plant will die.<br /><br />What was worse to me is that at a children's grief support group my kids went to, they had them plant sunflower seeds and bring them home for us to nurture and keep alive and make bloom. I was livid! We were going away for two weeks. I stuck them outside but, of course, they died. What kind of cruel thing is that to do to a child? No pressure on us grieving parents...Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16221291286533081990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-62841141915376772612010-02-19T07:38:48.483-08:002010-02-19T07:38:48.483-08:00I felt guilty for at least a year for the thanks y...I felt guilty for at least a year for the thanks yous I didn't send. I was completely obsessed with thanking everyone, but then I became hostile to it, and I just couldn't do it anymore. Thank you for showing me that I was not alone in my ingratitude. I do not feel hostile about thanking you, however :)Jill Schacterhttp://www.aheartbreakdiary.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-27900016153882837672010-02-16T11:17:53.043-08:002010-02-16T11:17:53.043-08:00jackie, this a beautiful and wise post. i had neve...jackie, this a beautiful and wise post. i had never considered this, but will always do so from here on... <br /><br />i have always thought sending thank you's after some has passed is the most ridiculous tradition and would gladly like to see it fall by the wayside.leigh in the savnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-83379305795846541922010-02-16T09:27:20.792-08:002010-02-16T09:27:20.792-08:00My grandmother (whom I loved very much) passed awa...My grandmother (whom I loved very much) passed away in 2005 from a brain tumor. She knew she was terminal and made her own funeral arrangements. Just before her death she kept telling us she "wanted lots of flowers at her funeral". I didn't ask her why but I kept wondering about what seemed an odd request. Her wish was granted and there were LOTS of fresh cut flowers at her funeral. They were loaded into the hearse with her casket. At the cemetary, watching her casket being lowered into the ground and dirt shoveled on top was more than I could bear. I ended up leaving and returned later after everyone had gone. When I returned to her grave I found a mound of fresh dirt surrounded by living green grass. However, the mound of dirt was barely visible. The flowers in vases were laid on the ground as well as the wreaths and they completely blanketed her grave. I smiled and realized why she wanted lots of flowers. The mental image of her grave will be with me for the rest of my life.<br /><br />VickiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-37512669313666818092010-02-13T19:10:52.067-08:002010-02-13T19:10:52.067-08:00Initially I loved the cut flowers too, but found t...Initially I loved the cut flowers too, but found the upkeep to be overwhelming as well. I even asked a friend to come over and take care of them (water, thin out/toss, etc.) and felt guilty, but I just couldn't do it myself. However, almost 2 years later I still have the orchid and the 3-in-one-pot houseplant gift. They now remind me of how life does go on, and good can come from grief.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07711099868038554656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-86271610427947740572010-02-12T20:18:50.438-08:002010-02-12T20:18:50.438-08:00i gave every last plant and flower away ...and the...i gave every last plant and flower away ...and the ones that ended up at my house somehow, misteriously ended up in the garbage as soon as everyone was gone. <br />someone got flowers for Valentine's Day at work today. They smelled wonderful but now all bouquets smell like "funeral" to me. gag.<br />I LOVE that you posted this and made me feel like less of an ungrateful alien.Mama_Bear_Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10073248027364028080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-28406557251418575432010-02-12T08:45:08.600-08:002010-02-12T08:45:08.600-08:00This is interesting, because Jews don't do flo...This is interesting, because Jews don't do flowers for funerals/deaths. Perhaps it's because of some of the sentiment you express here. When a thoughtful, non-Jewish friend sent me flowers after my boyfriend died, I tossed them, still living, into the trash. I couldn't look at them, knowing why they were there.Joannanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-46544897944190266492010-02-12T07:45:59.357-08:002010-02-12T07:45:59.357-08:00I totally agree with you! I would hate to give som...I totally agree with you! I would hate to give someone something else that would die!Even live plants put pressure on a person! I have two plants from my grandmother's funeral and feel such pressure to keep them alive! I want them to flurish and grow as a happy reminder not a sad one...a year and counting and they are still green! Crossing my fingers...Halliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08222042125775932911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-36446428680074255452010-02-12T07:35:43.831-08:002010-02-12T07:35:43.831-08:00This is a really good way to reach out to people a...This is a really good way to reach out to people and splash cold water on their faces. Wake up! Thanks for waking me up today...Pamela Goldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03828671725848167955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-5607611908741430442010-02-12T05:34:52.416-08:002010-02-12T05:34:52.416-08:00I too feel the same way about sending cut flowers ...I too feel the same way about sending cut flowers to a funeral. I hate looking at them as they die sitting on the mantel or table. I have taken to sending a live plant that can be planted outside and live on, blooming in the spring or something like that. Something hardy that will last. I have two trees in my back yard, one for my mom and one for my dad. It is comforting to see them bloom in the spring and change colors in the fall.dara Ickesnoreply@blogger.com