tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post621084145567491986..comments2023-10-30T09:14:27.703-07:00Comments on Mothering Nature: fill the void?Jackiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452150467051762515noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-4046829715433776412010-02-25T21:53:27.830-08:002010-02-25T21:53:27.830-08:00How about if you ask him?
[I didn't exactly a...How about if you ask him?<br /><br />[I didn't exactly ask... I told Greg that it would be his responsibility to find me my next love.<br /><br />He's still working on it.]<br /><br />I don't think you really have to believe in the afterlife... just try. If it doesn't work, that's ok, too.<br /><br />That's my advice, call me crazy if you want! ;)Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05252415753817950987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-78699215686727878282010-02-23T23:23:03.551-08:002010-02-23T23:23:03.551-08:00My cousin died 4 years ago now, aged 39. He was w...My cousin died 4 years ago now, aged 39. He was working late in his office and a heart attack and died. He was found the next morning by his eldest daughter, aged 6. He left behind a wife, aged 34, and three children, 6, 4 and 12 months. Tanya was devastated, they lived away from family, a widow of 3 at 34, she was a completely shadow of her self. I was surprised that she met someone within a year of Richard's dying. I guess I felt sad at the idea of any of us moving on from him, which of course we weren't, but when I really thought about it, I thought how amazing that she's met someone who she feels close to. They dated for about 6 months and were then engaged and married 12 months from when they first went out. They now have a child together, a 4th child for her, and they are all so happy. Her first husband, Richard, is still very present in their lives, the children refer only to him as their father and he is somehow another person in the family.<br /><br />My mother's best friend died after a long fight with cancer aged 50. She and her husband had been together since she was 15. They were Scandinavian and moved to Australia when both were very young. Her husband collapsed after, she had driven their lives together. He'd always been so busy, working so hard and long, with so little them time. He reconnected with another Scandinavian friend they had all known together - her husband had died months earlier also, again to cancer. They moved in together within a year of both their partners passing. Again, it was surprising to us, but they were both so sad, so lonely and understood what the other was going through, exactly how they were feeling. They seem very happy, the relationship is very different to the one he shared my my mum's best friend - but then she's a different person. We could never replace Majken, wouldn't want to, but we also wouldn't want Ebbe to be unhappy and alone for the rest of his life.<br /><br />So Jac, no advice, just recounting stories of people I know who never thought they could ever be happy again, both found someone who made them smile. There's a lot between their commitments and a date too, perhaps being older, what's happened to you, perhaps the "dating" perspective would be different, more honest perhaps? I don't know, but whatever feels right for you, probably is.Victoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05576666721273174380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-2673703108167395482010-02-23T07:32:36.468-08:002010-02-23T07:32:36.468-08:00nobody can know what to do but you. there is no ri...nobody can know what to do but you. there is no right and no wrong. (a lot of help i am.) your heart will never replace jeff, but i personally feel there is room enough for more than one love in your lifetime. when, or if, that happens is completely up to you. <br /><br />i hate that you even have to ponder these thoughts and questions. all i know is that jeff would want you, briar and liv to be happy and fulfilled.<br /><br />that said, it doesn't necessarily mean to do so you must move forward with another relationship. you're certainly capable of finding and sharing love without a romantic partner. <br /><br />jeff loved you and would want you to be happy - whether that be on your own, or with another. <br /><br />the best thing you're doing is talking, considering and asking questions. i know you'll continue to forge your way and we will continue to stand by for support! xoxo<br /><br />(i think i rambled a bit... sorry!)leigh in the savnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-73281407790224210472010-02-23T07:18:59.970-08:002010-02-23T07:18:59.970-08:00I don't know if you had a traditional wedding ...I don't know if you had a traditional wedding ceremony, but the usual vow is "til death do us part." <br /><br />I'm with Darcie -- no two loves are ever the same. ANd it can take time to stop comparing the new love to the lost old love. But that's all part of the process. You are a warm-hearted woman who deserves happiness and I'm sure when you're ready, you'll find it.<br /><br />NanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-69453047795743563582010-02-20T21:08:10.379-08:002010-02-20T21:08:10.379-08:00No two loves are ever the same - but that doesn...No two loves are ever the same - but that doesn't mean that you can't love two different people somewhat equally but differently. Does that makes sense? No one will ever replace Jeff, nor would the right man try...But I know in my heart that Jeff would want you, and the kids, to have someone around to keep you moving forward. It doesn't make you any less of a person...<br />So...how about a trip back to check out that piercer?<br />;)darciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03611334115957929814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-26156591090667453472010-02-19T21:08:41.018-08:002010-02-19T21:08:41.018-08:00Put the question out into the universe, and the an...Put the question out into the universe, and the answer will come. Sometimes the universe is slow, but always the answer comes.<br /><br />I wish I had more wisdom than that.Cadihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14517775140048055244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-56813285948295981362010-02-19T19:11:41.956-08:002010-02-19T19:11:41.956-08:00XXxx.XXxx.World Wide Alternativehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08136925137010566003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-21457836785285489702010-02-19T12:22:26.277-08:002010-02-19T12:22:26.277-08:00The world wants you to find some happiness for you...The world wants you to find some happiness for you, when you are ready. And that doesn't mean you would ever love Jeff any less, XxxRachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08573991998853561283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-91825551171307329072010-02-19T10:12:03.403-08:002010-02-19T10:12:03.403-08:00A stranger/creep/friend who follows here, and I ju...A stranger/creep/friend who follows here, and I just wanted to say that there is no doubt Jeff would want you to do what makes you happy! And no, it can't possibly ever make you a less of a wife to Jeff! <br /><br />Jackie YOU are still LIVING and happiness is what you are allowed to have, screw them who make you feel otherwise! :-)Dottiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11114976807855398307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-36030777184555131962010-02-19T07:50:55.723-08:002010-02-19T07:50:55.723-08:00My mom remarried 2 years after my dad died (she st...My mom remarried 2 years after my dad died (she started dating my step dad about 15 months after my dad died, never dated anyone else besides him). I think she waited until she felt ready and since she had the 5 of us, their relationship was very much about family. <br /><br />Marissa's right - the timing is up to you, but know that you will never be betraying/forgetting/leaving Jeff.Jenny Davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07010509844571683034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-29365223874800665592010-02-19T07:28:44.828-08:002010-02-19T07:28:44.828-08:00Wanting to date is the beginning, perhaps. Or mayb...Wanting to date is the beginning, perhaps. Or maybe it's just thinking about wanting to date and writing about it. We're all different, right? My husband was my soul mate. Long before he got cancer, back when everything was OK, I would tell him he was my perfect husband, and I absolutely meant it. After he died, I started dating within 11 months. And I think I was looking for him. I was looking for the life I had lost because I didn't think I could live without it. After 3 years of occasional dating and a couple of relationships that lasted a few months, I am much more accepting, finally, of being here, where I am. Single. Alone. Managing. Coping. My heart is open. I am sorry for your enormous loss. I understand. It can be unbearably hard but I think it makes us stronger. At least we get that.Jill Schacterhttp://www.aheartbreakdiary.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27694675.post-80862299340494511062010-02-19T06:18:06.887-08:002010-02-19T06:18:06.887-08:00When, and if, you're ever ready I support you ...When, and if, you're ever ready I support you in any decision you make. It's really what/when your heart tells you its ok.<br /><br />One of my longest & dearest friends lost her husband when we were 30. It wasn't sudden, they had 8 months to talk about his terminal illness before he passed. They talked of this very subject. He asked her to please move on & love again. She didn't think she would, or could after their 10 year marriage. But she did. When she was ready. No one can set another person's timeline on that.Marissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08311001472937020789noreply@blogger.com