new dresses and nightgowns!!

The kids stayed at my mom's last night and again tonight. I've managed to paint Briar's room, stack a load of firewood (with Todd doing the chopping), mow the lawn and list SEVEN dresses and nightgowns!!!
This week, I've been trying to focus on all the things around here that have been left undone and are dangling there annoying me. I am so hopeful that as soon as I have some of these things behind me, I can just fixate on the stuff that comes up....not the stuff that happened a year, four months and nine days ago. I'm sick of dealing with all the paperwork that goes along with a death. There are mountains of it! You'd think that the government would be able to have some program that would announce the death of one of their citizens to ALL their agencies once a death certificate had been issued. Anyhow....Enough of that rant......

five year plan

I've never had a five year plan. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I have scoffed at the idea and decided that this was the stuff of accountants, economists and other dry conversationalists (sorry for the prejudice if you are any of the above ;) ).
Now, as I am adrift without anyone else to hold my hand, I find myself needing to have something to anchor me. I need a plan.
Oh, how I abhor to be pinned down. To have a concrete idea of what 'should' or 'must' be done makes me want to rebel and run away while plugging my ears and singing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' at the top of my lungs. Juvenile, I know, but I hate being 'told' what to do. But I am wondering if the development of such a plan would help me to feel secure again and not so lost?
So over the next little while, I am going to be doing some soul searching. I am going to attempt to find a path that fits us and will help us to be in a place of more comfort and security in five years.
At the conference, I went to a workshop by another widow who had changed her life and is now helping to change the lives of others in this situation. I have to say that that one hour helped me immensely, but I have yet to actually sit down and use some of the tools that she taught. I will honestly say that fear is the major hindrance to my facing all of these unexamined facets of my life. Ah, fear! What would life be like without you, you bitch?!
First on my five year agenda will be a pathway to achieving better financially security. Isn't that on every accountant's list of 'to-do's? (I'm going to take this chance to remind any of you non-widows to MAKE SURE that you have life insurance 'cause that's the soap box I stand on regularly).
Do you have a five year plan? Am I just way behind the times along with all the other pimply-faced, greasy-haired teenagers???