the wishlist

My children are aware that Christmas is in 23 days. Already they are making their preparations for the big day. Snow flakes already adore most of the windows in our house, our advent calendar is hanging above the fireplace and letters to Santa are ready to post. After ruminating long and hard over what she would write, my eight year old daughter, Liv, stood up from the kitchen table with a letter for Santa clutched in her skinny, little hands. Hope and excitement lit her face.
"Do you think Santa can bring whatever you ask for if you only ask for one thing?", she whispered.
"It depends what it is, I suppose", I answered nervously imagining pink polka-dotted unicorns and hot-air balloon rides to the moon being requested. I was surprised when she handed over her note.
Her words make me vacillate between laughter and tears....
I don't know what I'd do without these little people who make life so much harder and some much more bearable in one motion.

P.S. Briar asked for a remote control monster truck taller than his head. Not as emotionally charged, but certainly enough to strike fear in a mother's heart. How the HECK is Santa going to pull off Christmas????

advancing Advent

Photo from Queen's School of Medicine....Don't know what the calendar has to do with med school, though....

We are beginning to gear up for December 1 and the beginning of our Advent calendar.
Although I despise the upselling in stores, the piped in carols in early November and the general consumerism involved in the Christmas holidays, I love the excitement of the kids, the coziness and craftiness of the season.
I resent the feeling that the standard seasons - Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter, have been replaced by Spring, Summer, Fall and Christmas.
This year, however, I am going to attempt to embrace and cherish the memories and yuletime feelings. I don't imagine that my kids have any appreciation for my grumblings over business-side of Christmas. I am sure they prefer to snuggle in front of the fire with hot chocolate whilst making popsicle stick snowflakes for family.
So wish me luck in my hunt for Christmas Spirit. I am a tried and true Grinch in need of a different perspective. But if my kids will benefit from it, I am willing to try....Just don't stand me in front of a Christmas light display while playing Jingle Bells over the loud speaker for a few weeks, please.....

absence

I haven't been on here much lately, have I? Although I am always thinking of things that I'd like to post on the blog as I work through my day, we are so very busy. The crazy rush of Christmas is over, New Year's celebrations are done and we are settling back into a life of skating lessons, pottery, playdates and practising sleeping without waking the whole house for a glass of water.

I can't seem to find my camera charger, hence, no photos. I know it is somewhere that when I find it I'll go, "Dude! I should have KNOWN!" but until then.....

Liv has been Irish Dancing again, which she loves....and seems to enjoy doing it to Boney M's Rasputin...


Briar has been enjoying skating and has been rethinking his previous career asperations of being a skateboarding tow truck driver with an orange truck decorated with rainbows. He now talks of being a goalie for the Toronto Maple Leafs (his daddy's favourite team).

Our sweet loving Cedar has been rehomed. Oh, how I wanted to keep that puppy. When I rescued him from his prior living arrangements, I hadn't planned on keeping him so I was not prepared financially or practically. I even thought of giving up Freckles after all the damage he has caused around the house, but I feel that when you adopt an animal, it's for life. So, Freckles stays and Cedar gets a wonderful new home with our vet and her family! I couldn't ask for a better home and we get to babysit Cedar when they go on holidays.

So we are settling back into our routine. I am feeling more relaxed and calm than I have in sometime. I'll be back more often....promise. *Off to find the bloody camera battery charger.....

christmas come-down

This season is insane. I am not normally a fan of this season, and although this Christmas wasn't as black and bleak as last year, the numb mechanized motions of new and fresh grief weren't as present to help me slip through these last few weeks.
I have found that the build up to the big day has, as always, been tense and fraught with stress. The day itself a tad anti-climatic. And the work involved in making sure that everyone is visited, acknowledged and gift-endowed over the holidays strikes me full with worry, lack of sleep and an acute sense of anti-consumerism.
It hasn't been all bad. I really am not a total Scrooge. I have enjoyed seeing friends and family. I have so loved the look of joy on my kiddos faces when opening their 'Santa' gift. I have savoured the apple cider, the Muppets Christmas Album and our live rented Christmas tree.
I am tired though. I want to lay down on the ground, as though at the end of a race, and take deep breaths. I want my house to regain some amount of organization after the onslaught of toys, clothing and festive food. I would like to be able to fit comfortably in my jeans again. I'd feel great if I could contact everyone who has phoned, written or emailed over the holidays only to receive 'dead air'.
All this craziness and chaos has made me wonder if I can handle yet another 'dependant' (Cedar the puppy). Oh, how I love him! What a great, gentle, smart, quiet and sweet dog he will be...But he is so very strong.....He has learned so very much (not to jump up, to stay out of my room, to not eat off the table, to sit, to lay down, etc. etc. - this from a dog who had NEVER been in a house before....Oh, and he has never had an accident inside!!!!) but he is so strong that when we are walking, he can literally pull me into traffic and Briar along with me as we are holding hands. I would train him myself but when do I get time to do this? When can I take him to puppy classes? He is SO brutally strong that all the lessons he should have learned when he was knee-high are now hard for me to address with a three year-old, seven year old and a dog with separation issues (Freckles) in tow. But I do understand the gentle giant. I look into those eyes and see such a soft soul. I feel a connection with him that I never have felt with Freckles (is that just creepy to talk aobut a dog that way?) He wants to please. He wants to be loved. And he wants to play. What have I gotten myself into?
Is this just a sour mood or the Christmas hang-over??

this day

As you wake this Christmas morning, you may feel alone lying in your bed. You may feel far from your beloved that you've lost. You may cry and feel sorry for yourself. You may watch your children open their presents as tears roll down your cheeks.
But know that we are not alone. We are all facing this together. Your loved ones are with you, if in spirit, memory or in your children, whatever you may believe.
I know that, for me, knowing that you are experiencing a similar morning is enough to make me not feel so sorry for myself. I am not really alone. You know. You understand. You are facing the same day as me.
Try to find the light and joy in the day. Be thankful for all that we do still have left. Find joy in remembering all that we have had and the memories that we keep so close to our hearts. Remember to make new joyous memories.
I am thinking of you all today. Merry Christmas!!!!!

advent

This year, instead of our usual seasonal tree advent calendar, we've decided to change things up a bit. We'll still be keeping our trusty tree painted on our living room window; but we'll be using it for other seasonal decorations (snowflakes, winter birds, gnomes, etc.)

At Liv's farmschool recently, they made paper cups from folded squares of...well, paper. Liv has become very interested in origami and drinking from these folded pieces of wood pulp. After finding dozens of these things around the house, I had an AHA! moment when thinking about our advent calendar. (And then I found that someone truly fabulous had had this AHA! moment before me and had already made them, but oh well, today I celebrate my own AHA!)

Instead of the long crafty day of creating a variety of winter and Christmas decorations from construction paper, we just gathered up a plethora of these cups, folded a few more, wrote numbers on them and hung them with clothespegs from the fishing line we have hanging through the living room (good for hanging art work on when all the bulletin boards and fridge space in the house is full!).

I still had the list of Advent activities saved on the computer. After a quick search of the local Christmas events, I added a few to our list (make sure to only add a 'few' or you may get tired out. Also, have one or two low-key standins for days that you find that although you had some parade written in, someone is vomiting on the couch, thus dashing your plans.) Also, put on the things you would be doing anyhow. I know this sounds like 'cheating' but, man, the holidays are so crazy and busy that just GETTING the tree is an event worthy of the calendar!

Anyhow, here is a quick list of things that we have done on our countdown to Christmas:

Santa Claus Parade
Christmas at museum
Read a Christmas book
Write letters to Santa
Make paper snowflakes
Face painting
Get Christmas tree
Put up Christmas lights
Decorate Christmas tree
Candlelit bubble bath
Family game night
Donate gift to needy kids
Make bird food pine cones
Go skating
Moonlight walk
Christmas train Cut down tree
Dinner by candlelight
Make gingerbread cookies
Watch Christmas movie with popcorn
Christmas light drive in jammies
Christmas carols
Donate food
Homeschool Christmas concert
Make snowflakes
Wrap presents

Please add to the list in the comments section if you can think of any!!!