Briar and I were snuggled up in his cozy little bed the other night. His soft, pale pink cheek was gently pressed against mine. His small hand was laying across my chest as he dozed. Quietly, he said to me, "Mama, I'd never hurt you." "Thank you, my sweet boy", I replied.
"And Mama? I'd never break you," he whispered sleepily. "Thank you, my love", I said.
"And I'd never shoot you," he said. "Um. Thanks...", I said with my eyes now open.
"And I'd never cut your head and feet off," he said as if this was very unremarkable. "Oh", I managed to hiccup.
"And I'd never eat you, Mama." "Uh......."
That night as he fell asleep I wondered if my son was....going to be an ax murderer when he grew up. But then, I realized that this whole conversation was due to recent conversations that Briar and I have had regarding guns, animals for food and violence. With his sudden interest in guns, I had explained to him that guns are tools. Violent tools that are used to hurt or kill. And although they are used to hurt people at times, they are often used to kill animals for food. I had explained that I don't feel that toy guns are appropriate for play in our family as we are pretending to kill our friends....I know that this is quite a 'hot topic' among parents. I find it interesting that as a parent, I put so much stock in the conversations that I have with my children. Always gleening for hints at what they may be like as adults. And then I find, my kids are so much better at living right now than I am. Their conversations reflect our everyday life and the replay and understanding of things that go on around us. I am just going to have to wait and see if Briar is going to be an ax wielding maniac....but I doubt he will be. I just have to remember that he is learning and growing. And like me, he is changing and forming. Who he is and what he enjoys now will not be the same when he is 25....(except maybe for Lego.)
This blog contains a fair amount of swearing, painful and difficult subject matter. If you have objections of any kind, I believe it's your right to not agree. But, please, keep those objections to yourself and keep yourself busy withsomething else.
A few musings of a homeschooling, crafting, neurotic, organic loving and, most of all, kiddo adoring mommy...I've now become a widow. My best friend and husband died of a pulmonary embolism on March 25th, 2008. This blog has now become a place for me to mentally unload and try to figure out how to do this and who I am without him.