Briar and I were snuggled up in his cozy little bed the other night. His soft, pale pink cheek was gently pressed against mine. His small hand was laying across my chest as he dozed.
Quietly, he said to me, "Mama, I'd never hurt you."
"Thank you, my sweet boy", I replied.
"And Mama? I'd never break you," he whispered sleepily.
"Thank you, my love", I said.
"And I'd never shoot you," he said.
"Um. Thanks...", I said with my eyes now open.
"And I'd never cut your head and feet off," he said as if this was very unremarkable.
"Oh", I managed to hiccup.
"And I'd never eat you, Mama."
"Uh......."
That night as he fell asleep I wondered if my son was....going to be an ax murderer when he grew up.
But then, I realized that this whole conversation was due to recent conversations that Briar and I have had regarding guns, animals for food and violence. With his sudden interest in guns, I had explained to him that guns are tools. Violent tools that are used to hurt or kill. And although they are used to hurt people at times, they are often used to kill animals for food. I had explained that I don't feel that toy guns are appropriate for play in our family as we are pretending to kill our friends....I know that this is quite a 'hot topic' among parents.
I find it interesting that as a parent, I put so much stock in the conversations that I have with my children. Always gleening for hints at what they may be like as adults. And then I find, my kids are so much better at living right now than I am. Their conversations reflect our everyday life and the replay and understanding of things that go on around us.
I am just going to have to wait and see if Briar is going to be an ax wielding maniac....but I doubt he will be. I just have to remember that he is learning and growing. And like me, he is changing and forming. Who he is and what he enjoys now will not be the same when he is 25....(except maybe for Lego.)
6 comments:
I'm with you there. No guns in this family, either.
Finally, after fifteen years as a toy weapon-free zone, it was me who let the side down. I bought an AK-47 to go with my Che Guevara outfit for a fancy dress party recently.
No axe-wielding monsters have yet sprouted in the house since then. Only the demand that I should never, ever wear a beard again...
My toddler is still breastfeeding. So I think that there is one thing he loves now that he is still likely to love when he's 25. Although for different reasons, and not mine so much. ;)
My 3.5 yr old son has always been a "stick guy". He has always innocently played with sticks - walking with them, scribbling in the dirt with them, banging them (onto the ground, trees, bushes, etc.). But suddenly, he has started pretending they are guns. And he wants to point his fingers as guns, too. I know he has been exposed to this in his association with other 3-4 yr olds at the preschool he goes to just twice a week. But it makes me so sad! We are also a "no guns" family and are trying hard to help him realize that guns can be used to hurt people or animals and are never a play toy. When he makes his hand into a gun, I remind him that he needs to show me all five fingers and clap with his hands (rather than pointing them at someone). And we have been reminding him that even when pretending, we don't want to pretend hurt to anyone else.
It is so hard to see how deeply and how quickly our precious babes can be influenced by their peers!! It makes me not want to let him (or his sister) out of my sight ever or ever!
this post was so sweet...it made me smile...children sure have a way of understanding the world and figuring things out.
we have too many weapons in our house...but my boys seem o.k. regardless...they do not watch t.v. or go to public school and we teach them to respect each other. it's all good.
I'm sooooooooooo glad it's not just my son that talks like that. phew!
I am from the camp of no toy guns either - I was hoping to shield our kids from that whole thing for a few more years but somehow - Derek has been pretending to hold a gun saying stupid things like "I'm going to kill you" or "I'm going to shoot you" -
::sigh::
So now at least I've told him a half dozen times that's inappropriate and not cool - we'll see how far that takes us - Though I do think it's hard wired in -
I guess there's no time like the present to use it as a teaching moment so if ever they DO come across a real gun, they aren't playing 'pretend' and someone ends up hurt...or worse...
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