Monday, February 08, 2010

bloody hellllllll

I got a phonecall from the landlord today. She's selling the house.
We moved in here when Liv was four months old. It's our HOME. I can't imagine living elsewhere or having someone else enjoying the basement that Jeff finished or the carport that he closed in.
I am heartbroken. I am terrified. I have no idea where we'll go for such low rent...and how do you rent with a dog, a cat and seven chickens?
Home has been our one constant. Our one security. Now it will be gone. Another connection to Jeff gone. Another tie cut.
I am at a loss. I am so lonely and fearful right now.

34 comments:

Debs said...

Oh that's terrible, I'm so sorry. How much notice do you have? I really hope you manage to find somewhere even though I know it won't be the same. Sending you hugs and strength (((((hugs))))

ps I've been lurking for a while but not commented before, in case you're wondering who I am xxxxx

Cadi said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear. That just stinks. Arghhh. That must just be heartbreaking when there are so many memories of Jeff that live in that house, too. Can you somehow purchase it? I hope you can find a way to stay & if not I hope that you will find something really, really good! Sending good juju your way!

Desha said...

Has she already sold it? Would she consider selling it to you considering 6 years of rent and all the work you guys put into it? I am so sorry you are going through this, Jackie! I'll be praying that things work out for you.

The Jagow Family said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! Thinking about you and you family!!

Marissa said...

Oh no! no no no!!!

I don't know what I can do but pray... please know that I'm going to be doing it often.

Much love to you & the kids -
Marissa

Janine (txmomx6) said...

Crap!!!
I'm sorry, Jackie.
Praying .....

Suddenwidow said...

Ditto to every comment above. So sorry that you're having to deal with yet one more shitty thing in your life. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Saturday and you can vent all you want! Thinking of you,
Deb

Jenny Davis said...

What's her number? I can be very persuasive.

Lynn said...

I'm so terribly sorry to hear the news. Hopefully the buyer will be interested in renting it out to a responsible, long-term tenant...like you!

Rachel said...

alright...seriously I agree with everyone else. This is NOT cool.

Maybe you could buy it? Maybe we can convince her not to sell? Or maybe I could just them over the head with something hard.

Ugh, love you Jackie, sorry you are having to deal with this along with everything else :(

Crash Course Widow said...

Oh, Jackie, I'm so sorry!! Dealing with everyday life and the kids and the griefbursts that crop up are more than enough to deal with...and to have to add such a huge stress and fear on top of it?? Even without all the loaded aspects of the house that are connected with your past, the kids, and, most especially, Jeff, it's so much to have sprung on you when it's not your choice to move. I'm so very, very sorry, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you find something that will work, as fast and as painlessly as possible.

I took our video camera and wandered around the house before I moved out of "our" house at 16 months out. I couldn't tell you what I said--and I most definitely haven't looked at the video since--but I know I said at least a few things about Charley on it, like little anecdotes or memories about places where, for instance, his bicycle cleats gouged up the pine floors and he insisted it wasn't from him. I think I insisted it all was for Anna since she'd never remember the house, but it was probably more of a life-jacket compulsion for me. I also took pictures of the house too, all the rooms at different angles, and I did actually just look at them recently. One of my biggest fears was that I'd forget too many things when I didn't have rooms that Charley'd walked in, lived in, loved, surrounding me anymore, that I wouldn't remember stuff once I moved. And I can attest that, over 3 years after moving out, I haven't really forgotten anything about Charley's and my life there. And for better or worse, a house has just become a house to me, because it'll never be what it once was before I gained all this unwanted widow's knowledge, regardless of where I live.

Please accept all the help you can find with packing and moving. It's so terribly draining and stressful as a single parent and especially with the grief that will inevitably arise. And get lots of help, too, with setting up the house afterward too...it's a daunting task to face on your own too, and accepting help has made it much more manageable and easier (relatively speaking) to move in and move through the stress and pain of it all.

I'm so, so sorry, my friend. Thinking of you and sending you many hugs and prayers for strength.

Lots of love,
Candice

Hallie said...

I totally agree with Candace...take lots of pictures! When my grandparents moved out of their house, the one I was raised in, I wasn't able to be there. We went for a visit a few months before and I took what they thought were very stranger pictures...the flooring I picked out, close ups of the old button light switches, views from certain windows, views from the top of the stairs where I used to sneak down to and watch tv lol, the kitchen drawer they kept candy in etc. I don't look at them but take comfort in thought of having them...I'm so sorry this isn't in your control and hope you can find peace in it...

Poppy and Mei said...

Jeez. I'll come back later when I think of something that might be helpful. Bugger... XXxx.

Lori said...

That blows. Please consider asking her what she might sell it to you for. I guess more than anything I want to say- you've been through the worst already. And you will get through this.

Michele Neff Hernandez said...

Aahhhh! I am so, so, sorry...and how to help? I am thinking, and praying! xoxoxo

Ashley Tinius said...

What a crummy landlord. Doesn't she know what a hard time you've had?! I'm so sorry to hear about this. Hopefully you can find a way to stay....sending lots of good karma your way.

Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

oh Jackie, i'm so sorry. i understsand the feeling of "home" and not wanting to leave your memories. we rent as well and i'd be devastated if my landlord pulled that on me.
thinking of you girl.

Andrea Renee said...

Oh shit, Jackie. I'm so, so sorry!! ((((BIG BEAR HUGS))))

Amber said...

I am so, so sorry to hear this. So sorry.

I will send you all the good thoughts that I can muster.

Mel said...

Oh Jackie, I am so sorry!

That is so stressful, sad, unsettling... awful.

If there is any chance you could, this is a great time to buy. I'm sorry if that's just too out of the question.

I wish I could wrap all of you up and settle you somewhere safe and cozy!

Please keep us up to date and tell us what we can to to help you.

xoxo,
Mel

Dottie said...

Dottie in North Carolina, still peeking in on you. You have been doing such an amazing job Jackie and now another mind numbing hurdle.

Moving by itself is horrible, leaving behind a home is horrible, I am so sorry this time has come.

It is my prayer that you can find peace, comfort and another house to make your home.

Anonymous said...

Jackie, I know this seems like the worst thing that could ever happen at a time like this, but sometimes,when someone closes a door God opens a window. In the past when things have gone terribly wrong, or felt terribly wrong, I have looked back to realize that I ended up in a better place. I know this sounds like such nonsense at a time like this, but it is my hope that you will end up in a much better situation than this one. Perhaps even in a little place you can call your own forever. My thoughts, prayers, and good wishes are with you and your little family. Big hugs to you. You are so strong, even when things don't feel like they are. I do want to bitch slap your landlady though : )
Barb C

rhonda-lea said...

hi Jackie, I had that same notice over a year ago and what a terrible feeling. Had just came back from my Renfrew camping trip to an email that our house was going up for sale. Like you said bloody hell and did I ever cry over that email. Knowing full well that it was the only home our kids had know, how comfortable we had become, how cheap the rent was, and how scary everything all of a sudden had become. It's not fun, and it's not fair, god we had to live in poor Marnie's driveway! Just believe everything will work out, and be strong! Unfortunately once we become mothers we have no choice but too even if we feel that the world is throwing rocks at us. After our year of transistion we are now living in the house beside the house we lived in for 9 years....full circle! Our landlord will be moving back in in September and we will be once again looking for another rental...as far as I am concerned I am too old for this shit and want so badly to have a place of our own. Hoping for the best for you and your kiddos Jackie

Valerie Willman said...

Cyber-hug.

Kate said...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.

FUCK!!!

Anonymous said...

"Life is really quite beautiful if you,let it be."

Love you.
Tanis

darcie said...

oh. my. god.
I am soo sorry -
If you want to join us in *the Mn* - we'd be glad to have you guys...
hang in there Jackie - xxoo

Jenn said...

oh no! will she not considering selling it to you, like on a rent-to-own basis? you don't need this!! your kiddos don't!
even fuckles will freak out.

thinking of you and hoping to hear some good news soon!!

Anonymous said...

{{{Jackie}}}
Losing my home, having to move -- these are my greatest fears. I get your state of panic and fear. I'm thinking of you and praying that a good opportunity shows up.

Nan

Just Janice said...

First, breathe - a house being up for sale is not the same thing as a house that is sold. Ask for details, price and when the landlord expects to nail the sign post into the ground. It might take the landlord a while to actually put the place up for sale, and once it is up for sale it may not sell as quickly as the landlord thinks. When we recieved a similar notice now almost two years ago, the place sat on the market of 6 months, in the interim we used that time to find a place that was even better and secured a long term lease - and cost wise it was only marginally more. I don't think that old place actually ever sold and I think that the parents-in-laws of the landlord wound up buying it. Furthermore, even once it is sold the new owners might want to keep you as tenants. Point being do not act too hastily.

Second, know your rights. You should establish a set schedule for viewings (ie. Thursdays between x am and y pm). Regardless, you are entitled to 24 hours notice of a landlords intended entry into your home. Also, once it is sold you are entitled to two months notice and one month's rent (see residential tenancy act). Also, look into the BC Rental Assistance Program.

Third, ask for reference from your current landlord, particularly with respect to your pets.

Fourth, make a list of all the things you want your dream home to have - in particular think about the opportunity that this might present. A chance to live in a more convenient neighbourhood or closer to certain friends and/or relatives. Would a different place offer you an opportunity to increase your income? Don't focus on what is being lost, focus on the possibilities that are now before you - you are a remarkably strong and positive woman who has a tremendous ability to do so.

Don't buy for the sake of buying though, particularly if that is something that is not affordable to you at this time or if it would not be affordable to you at an interest rate of 5.5% with a 30 year mortgage.

Lastly, find a way to 'take Jeff with you' - catologue what you can, maybe kidnap a tree on the property to plant at your new home when you find it.

It sucks - but it also doesn't have to blow.

ryanandjoesmom said...

Oh man, I wish I had some answers or revelations for you or that I would win the lottery and be able to buy it for you. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers, for what it's worth.
Chris

Bonnie said...

This news simply sucks.
I can't imagine.

Sending hugs across the water to you.
Bonnie

Corinne Cooper said...

it seems like you have some good comments & ideas so I will just say that I am thinking about you & pray that everthing will work out...(((((hugs)))))

Roads said...

I'm very sorry, Jackie -- that won't be easy for you to face.

But finally -- finally, a man is more than just a place, or a house. At least, that's what I keep saying...