Wednesday, April 28, 2010

ch-ch-changes


A few weeks back, I wrote about the turbulent ride we've been on in the wake of the decisions the landlord has been faced with. She had repeatedly changed her mind about selling or not selling the house. In the end, she chose to keep the house for one more year and revisit the idea of selling next Spring.
I am a firm believer in the idea that 'things happen for a reason'. It may not be some higher mind that is dictating the reasons for occurrances in our lives, but that we are forced to learn something from every situation we encounter. During all this confusing and stressful upheaval, I have gnashed my teeth wondering, "What the HELL is this supposed to teach me?????" I could not understand for the life of me why and how such craziness could show me anything other than fifty ways to chew my fingersnails to smithereens.
But, unbeknownst to me, I was making decisons, sorting information and finding what felt 'right'. I was exploring options, stepping out of my box, returning to safety when she's decide not to sell and then be forced to check the world out around me when she changed her mind again. I hated it. It was terrifying and chaotic.
But I found that when the landlady finally came to a decision to not sell for a year, I felt almost....stifled and like a large clock counting down to next Spring when she would re-decide whether or not to sell was ticking loudly.
So, I've decided to take change into my own hands. Instead of being at the mercy of other's lives and decisions, I am stepping out of our box and taking life by the pervebial 'balls'. We're moving. Not just houses, but communities. We'll still be on the Island, but two hours away.
I feel good about it. Actually, I feel great. This next month is going to be insane. I have enrolled myself in an intensive Organic Master Gardner course. We'll be packing and moving. And everything will be changing.
The change terrifies me. But it's exhilarating too. This is me. This is me 'growing up' and making choices that are right for us. Making choices based on our needs and wants rather than those of others.
I will miss my friends and my sister horribly....But I will visit as often as I can...And really I'm a FABULOUS phone-talker.....
P.S. I CAN TAKE THE CHICKENS TO THE NEW PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAHOOOOOOO!

14 comments:

The Jagow Family said...

Congratulations Jackie!! You sound VERY happy with your decisions!! Way to go taking charge of your future, rather than waiting for someone else to make those for you. In the end, you will feel better about those changes and hopefully less stress. Best wishes on your new adventure with your kiddo's along for the ride.

Can't wait to hear about the new place and coming changes for you and your family!! :)

Anonymous said...

Jackie! Sounds good:o) I can't wait to read all about the move and the new place!

Cheers!
Kathryn in Berlin

Amber said...

Hooray and congratulations! I'm especially relieve to hear about the chickens. You're like my voyeuristic chicken fix.

I think it's fabulous that you're making the change for you, on your own terms. I'm sure it will be a great one. And I can't wait to hear all about the course.

Colleen said...

Congratulations! I'm so glad you've made a decision that makes YOU happy! Such exciting news!! Wishing you and your beautiful family every happiness you so deserve!

Jen said...

Fantastic, Jackie! Sounds like just the right step at the right time. Must be such a relief to be in charge of the timing. How did your landlord take it when you told her?

Annie said...

Fanrific, Jackie! I totally agree that the landlady's fickleness has been a good thing because now your choices and the change are empowering and moving you forward! I'm so excited and happy for you!

You should look up Deirdre after you move down that way. She's wonderful- and you're wonderful. It would be cool if you could meet. She doesn't have a personal blog but here's her business blog:
http://continuum-family.blogspot.com/

Poppy and Mei said...

Perfect...XXxx.

Bonnie said...

Yay Jackie!!!
You sound so excited, even with the hard work and changes ahead. Organic Master Gardener??? You go girl!
Bonnie

Marissa said...

reading this, i felt where it was heading and i'm so happy for you.

spread those wings and see where the wind takes you.

congrats on stepping out of the comfort zone, taking a risk but standing on your own two feet. empowering!

Crash Course Widow said...

Just saw the tidbit about moving on FB so had to come and see if you had more to say about it. Good for you and MAJOR CONGRATULATIONS on taking the bull by the horns!! Fear is such a huge mountain in widowhood, and I'm so proud of you for making a proactive decision!

I hope the packing and moving go smoothly and quickly! Do you already have a new home to move to?

Hugs, my friend!! Love ya!!

Anonymous said...

Jackie, I think this is one of my favorite posts by you. I love how you take life on, making the best of it. I hope it's a fab move for you!
Kirsten

Victoria said...

Wow, you sound fantastic, positive and excited, fantastic! I'm really pleased for you and quietly smug that now the landlord will be left with a situation to figure out - no tenants!

SillyCon said...

Yay for you!!! I hope its down this way!

leigh in the sav said...

happy you're happy! the plans sound good and so thrilled you can take the chickens! (and the kiddos too!)