Friday, September 04, 2009


Last week, Briar watched me carry a box of feminine hygiene products from the grocery bag to the bathroom.

"Are those for your bum?", he asked.

"Um.", not sure as to what the appropriate response for a three year old boy should be. I decided honesty was best.

"Not my bum", as I walked by.

"Your penis?"

"No. Mommy doesn't have a penis."

Following me, he asks, "Your bagina?"

"Um. Yes. My, vagina." After all, I've heard that using proper terminology is best.

"Oh.", he says. I breathe a sigh of relief hoping that I handled this encounter with anatomy, life cycles and privacy 'properly'.


Hours later, Briar enters my bedroom for a visit while I put away laundry. As is common, he is naked. We chat about something before I even glance in his direction. When this look occurs, I can't help but notice something....on his nether regions. All my evolved and cool mom exterior is forgotten as I gasp, "What did you do, buddy????"

He answers, "I wanted to be like you." and looks down at the bandaid stuck upon his private parts.

The next twenty minutes are occupied attempting to peel terribly sticky bandaid glue from horribly sensitive little parts while discussing which people have which parts and who uses absorbent materials in their underpants and why.

Oh, joy. My poor boy is going to be so well-versed in all things female by the time he reaches age 10.


Marissa said...

What an awesome husband you are growing!!! I'd like to think through my candid talks with my 3 sons they will be great, non-flinching husbands someday. At least I'd like to hope so. :)

Anonymous said...

I think it's fabulous that he wants to emulate you. Although at the risk of being unevolved I can't see why anyone would want to have need of feminine hygiene products. Not my favourite part of being female, for sure.

But you know, he is going to be the better for knowing all this stuff. Some woman may just thank you some day when he's able to be matter-of-fact about menstruation. And baginas.

Poppy and Mei said...

"OUCH!" XXxx.

Jenn said...

My son is very well versed in all things female...he has four sisters and a crazy momma! :0) He even saw me soon after I had can see him on the birth video walk into the bathroom, suck in his breath (when he saw her) and go "Awww"...very sweet! But I think being exposed to all girl stuff will just make him a better dad and husband someday. :0)

Desha said...

hilarious! I almost peed myself!

Kathryn said...


Katy said...

This is so flippin' adorable I can't even believe it!