Thursday, May 07, 2009

i know i'm daughter says so.

I am at the age where teenagers scare me...maybe not scare me, but I feel horribly inferior and dorky in their presence. I am always aware that they are talking in some slang language that I don't quite get even when I smile politely and nod as if I know what the fuck "Emo" means. I avert my eyes when I pull up to the row of mailboxes near the local highschool to retrieve my mail while "Abba" or some parenting CD plays loudly over my car stereo. I wonder if they're snickering collectively at my handknit wool sweater or my bumper sticker that says, "In the time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. - George Orwell". I am the epitome of 'mother' and all that negatively implies to teenagers.

But then, I think, my kids are the next teenagers. When the current rash of too-cool-for-you teens have been transformed into playdough encrusted, Raffi listening, milk scented parents, my kids will be the ones hashly judging their convenient and comfortable attire, their choice of vehicles and their lack of knowledge in current events while using strange and foreign 'teen speak' to communicate when with their cohorts.

And you know what? For now, my kids think I'm cool. So at this present time, I must be really stinkin' awesome. Really. I am. A six year old and a two year old tell me often that "You are the best mommy in the whole world!!!!" while bestowing upon me wet and occasionally snot-filled kisses. My son thinks I can fix anything. My daughter thinks I can make anything. This phenomenon will last too short a time.

Because of this impending deadline of hipness, I am always willing to try to make any of my children's requests come to least in the fix-it or craft-it department.

With May Day just having passed, Liv asked for a daisy chain crown. "Oh! A daisy chain crown!!", I thought, "Yet another thing I can do for my sweet little peanut before she realizes what a truly flawed human I am in the 'hip-and-jiggy' department (a shout out to you, Marn!)! Hell, of course, I'll make one for each of your closest buddies too! You can be the 'Daisy Chain Club and I can be the coolest mom in the Universe!!"

If this thought ever comes to you, if this ego-centric idea of becoming the BESTEST mommy ever because you have created a masterpiece ever enters your clog-loving mind, shoe it away. Forget it. Leave it. Be cool in some other less....fucking insane and frustrating way. Make a paper airplane. Have a food fight. Scoop your eyeballs out with a grapefruit spoon. Hell, buy a bloody fucking Webkinz if you need to. But don't sign up for this.

I stupidly agreed. I let my momm-ego drive the bus. I even thought, "Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to do a tutorial on the blog! So fun and so crafty! I'll just take pictures along the way, do a bit of an explanation and Voila!"

Well, I took pictures. The initial ones are nice, sweet and happy.
They grow a bit harried and imperfect but I figured that I would just explain that it was more finicky than I had hoped.
Be happy that I stopped the photo session at that point. If you could see the nasty words that hung in the air for much of the sewing bits, you'd have trouble catching a glimpse of the damned daisy fucking chain.

Anyhow, I finished one. One only. It WILL be the only one. The 'Daisy Chain Club' will have to take turns wearing the headdress of horror. Sorry, girls. I am not the Coolest Mom in the Universe. I am just a wannabe. And in highschool, we all learned that wannabes are the lamest of all....But if it means that I never have to make another one of these atrocities, I am truly cool with being a lame wannabe. Don't all of us mommies wear this title sometimes?....Yes, I think we do.


Desha said...

I think you are VERY cool, but I don't know how much tat means coming from this wannabe:)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who (1) promises too much and (2) swears a lot while crafting. I sort of think that making things should be relaxing and fulfilling, but really it often leads me frustrated and angry.

And I think that daisy chain crown is gorgeous. Although I understand why you will never make another. :)

Eileen said...

OMG how adorably cute! ONE was well worth it! Beautiful job!

AndreaRenee said...

This is why I don't usually do crafts (he he) but that turned out awesome!! What a sweet picture with her wearing it. My son thinks I'm the best mom in the world, too (my daughter might think so, but she's not talking quite that well yet). We have to enjoy this stage while we can, cuz it surely won't last!

Anna in Minneapolis said...

I appreciated this post very much, as we're about the same age I think and the other day I had to hang out with a bunch of teens and the whole time all I could think about is how un-cool I am. (And I was sure they were whispering behind my back...or maybe texting...about my aforementioned lack of coolness.)

I think you're a very cool mom!

Kathryn said...

That looks so sweet! Kudos to you for making it! I only have dreams of being crafty and thinking up things like that. I don't have a crafty bone in my body though. :o(
My kids would be thrilled to spend a week with you and seeing all that you ARE a cool mom and often I feel I pale in comparisson.

Marissa said...

damn crafty woman, i think you're cool as shit! way cooler than my mom and you trump the hell out of me too! (hows that for a string of profanity at 8am?!)

i asked my 14 year old if he knew what "emo" meant since i didn't. he said (he could be wrong though he claims never to be...) that it stands for "emotional" - the kids who just cant get a grip on their emtions and you know, cut themselves because of it. thats what he said, who knows if its true but hey, i've seen the "emo" kids at his school and well, they scare MY emotions. ;)

Anonymous said...

You are most awesome! Wannabe's run the world, for starters. And if half of us moms entertained our kids' fantasies and desires as much as you did, we would have more creative, resilient kids and adults! The daisy crown in fantastic and she will have many fond memories of wearing it since her mommy took the time to make it for her.I put my money on that!Happy mama's day...

Hawkfeather said...

you kick ass.

this reminds me-
a close friend- recently was showing his 12 year old son his new computer desk..
with much excitement he showed him how the monitor stand swivels- so he can see his monitor from all over his room...

son's answer.

"your life is really boring hey?"

son's correction in realizing that might be hurtful...

"well...not to *you*.... but to everyone else."

Anonymous said...

You'll always be hip and jiggy to me ;-)

Poppy and Mei said...

I love it.
I want two! XXxx