I thought I did most of the work around here. I used to say to Jeff, "You don't even know what size shoes your kids wear." I meant that he didn't do what I did. He didn't do as much as I did. As time progresses without him, I realize how very, very wrong I was. He did a lot. We just had evolved into different types of caregivers with different roles.
I cleaned the bathtub. He washed the dog's dishes and refilled them.
I made breakfast and lunch. He made dinner.
I made sure the kids had warm clothing for Winter. He got the house ready for the cold weather.
I paid the bills. He made sure there was money to pay the bills with.
I changed diapers (he did it too but not as often). He emptied rat traps.
Even though as a fisherman's wife I did things around the house that some wives don't need to do while Jeff was away, I find myself having to do all of the tasks that I would save until he returned from sea.
The most loathesome so far is setting and emptying rat traps. Every Autumn, we get rats in the wood pile. Every Fall, Jeff took care of it. I have real problems looking at those shiny little black eyes and the soft furry heads with their broken necks in those awful traps. It is such a violent end.
I had been thinking about getting a Havahart trap and letting the rats go out in the woods. I don't have 'killer' on my list of indentities....But after talking to Marnie (the ruthless woman that she is. LOL), I am concerned that moving the rats to somewhere else would cause more problems elsewhere. I am a bit tormented over all this. I know it is...well, a bit of a trivial thing to be agonizing over. But I don't want to hurt them. I think of their mommies, daddies and children. I think of their last moments and the little ratty confusion. Yes, I'm a dork.
Anyhow, I have decided to stand up and be a bit ruthless. I can try to 'kill' these little animals and empty the traps. If Jeff can do it, I can do it....also, they ate all our squash and pumpkins that I had stored in the garage this year. I know he would be laughing at me and the trepidation I feel. But I once drove a squirrel that I ran over to the vet....