I thought I did most of the work around here. I used to say to Jeff, "You don't even know what size shoes your kids wear." I meant that he didn't do what I did. He didn't do as much as I did. As time progresses without him, I realize how very, very wrong I was. He did a lot. We just had evolved into different types of caregivers with different roles.
I cleaned the bathtub. He washed the dog's dishes and refilled them.
I made breakfast and lunch. He made dinner.
I made sure the kids had warm clothing for Winter. He got the house ready for the cold weather.
I paid the bills. He made sure there was money to pay the bills with.
I changed diapers (he did it too but not as often). He emptied rat traps.
Even though as a fisherman's wife I did things around the house that some wives don't need to do while Jeff was away, I find myself having to do all of the tasks that I would save until he returned from sea.
The most loathesome so far is setting and emptying rat traps. Every Autumn, we get rats in the wood pile. Every Fall, Jeff took care of it. I have real problems looking at those shiny little black eyes and the soft furry heads with their broken necks in those awful traps. It is such a violent end.
I had been thinking about getting a Havahart trap and letting the rats go out in the woods. I don't have 'killer' on my list of indentities....But after talking to Marnie (the ruthless woman that she is. LOL), I am concerned that moving the rats to somewhere else would cause more problems elsewhere. I am a bit tormented over all this. I know it is...well, a bit of a trivial thing to be agonizing over. But I don't want to hurt them. I think of their mommies, daddies and children. I think of their last moments and the little ratty confusion. Yes, I'm a dork.
Anyhow, I have decided to stand up and be a bit ruthless. I can try to 'kill' these little animals and empty the traps. If Jeff can do it, I can do it....also, they ate all our squash and pumpkins that I had stored in the garage this year. I know he would be laughing at me and the trepidation I feel. But I once drove a squirrel that I ran over to the vet....
10 comments:
you had me at killing the mice...and then you said you drove a squirrel to the vet and i laughed so hard. yesterday i had to kill a grasshopper for my sons science experiment. after we accomplished the task i told my son to let his teacher know that he was going to be excused from any more assignments regarding animal torture -- it truly pained us both to watch that thing die. :(
kill the mice. they're different though. they have gross. mice rank up there with one of my stupidest fears in life but its a very real one!!
(and you're right, our husbands do more than we give them credit for - big time **hugs**)
*they ARE gross not they HAVE gross.
Oh no. They "have" gross, and plenty of it.
I never understood killing mice until I found a mouse in my yard, near where my kids had been playing and thought about what would have happened had it bit one of the kids.
Now I'm all for the traps that contain all the mess, the ones you just drop in the garbage. Much better than chasing a mouse through the yard trying to whack it in half with a shovel ... and, I'm guessing, dealing with snap traps and then having to reset and re-bait them.
Mice freak me out completely, if I were faced with a rat I don't know what I'd do. I say kill them - heartless, NO, my skin is crawling. Do rats actually serve any useful purpose - I'd like to know if anyone thinks so.
i had read your blog last night then i was writing a paper while my husband zoned out with the tv. i then heard a commercial for a no-touch, no-see mouse trap and thought of you because it might make it easier! it would for me! http://www.d-conproducts.com/traps/nvnt.html
the bonus is they look like hockey pucks :)
you sound so much like me. i would not want to have to kill it or deal with the mess, but i do want them dead. and i brake for all strays. go figure.
you are doing such an amazing job - i hope you realize that.
thinking of you.
I'm totally with you on that too, in fact i'm probably even more squeamish 'cos when my ex put down mice traps at his house i kept triggering them without telling him! So not only were the mice surviving but they were thriving as his home became the takeaway place on the street! Lots of free food on the traps that couldn't hurt them! He thought that the traps were faulty and threatened to complain to the store! Lol! I think that makes me softy of the moment eh?
as hard as it is, i say kill the rat b!@*%$#ds. i have had an ongoing war with rats at my house for years now and i live in a city in so cal. i always felt a bit guilty for killing them til i had to throw out 1/2 of my garage this summer a/c they set up their homestead in the storage boxes. i cried when i had to take my son's crib (he is now 24 yrs old) that i was saving for his babies and throw it away. they ate through the plastic wrap, made a nice nest, had babies, and then died from the poison i set out. i didn't realize they were in there till we pulled it out as it was in the back of everything. they had peed, pooped, and then rotted in that nest. everything reeked.
anyway, i know you can do it. it is one more thing in life that you will get through as hard as it is. what an example you are, for not only your daughter but your son as well. as they grow, they will see their mother getting through her worst of times and know that they can get through their worst times also.
anyway, i am just a lurker and you don't know me, but i just wanted to tell you how impressed i am and that there are people who care about you. I also like the photos you have been doing.
:-)
I hear ya women, we just got back from there and stayed in a motel.. lugging all the luggage in, that was his job, yup rat traps too.. I'd much rather call someone or get my ruthless son who thinks that is so cool to do it, but each and every time I do something that was his job.. I MISS HIM and it sucks ass. So you're not alone.
How about some cats? Or google it, that's what I do know when I need help.
Good luck my friend, put you boots on, face mask, and some super thick work gloves and just DO IT! I'll be thinking of ya!
Melody
At least they're checkin' out on the good stuff! ;) XXxx
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