Today is the day that everyone celebrates their own father. Bringing trays with breakfast in bed. Having a BBQ. Washing dad's car. Having extra hugs. Calling long distance.
But today, my little ones weren't able to supply Jeff with burnt waffles and spilt orange juice. Last year, we spent our first Father's Day without Jeff. As others were walking hand in hand with their daddy, my little ones sent love letters to him in 'Heaven'.
This Father's Day, we again followed the tradition that began last year. We wrote notes and drew pictures for Jeff. Liv, heartwrenchingly, wrote Jeff the same words that she has written so many times and drew a flower on the back. Briar drew a 'monster truck' and poked holes in the paper to pull the string through. I poured my heart out with tiny handwriting into a letter of longing and loss for my husband and the father of my kiddos....It was cathartic and freeing to write and 'send' it up to him.
The wind stole the balloons from our outstretched hands and watched as they rose higher and higher into the sky. I kept praying that they wouldn't pop as we watched as I'm sure we would have all sobbed. But they didn't pop. They rose higher and higher. Whisked out above the ocean. We silently watched until we couldn't see them any longer hoping that somehow Jeff would know what those letters contained.
Have you ever been told to get over it?
5 days ago