Monday, June 16, 2008

father's day

We went for breakfast at a restaurant for father's day. Maybe not such a great idea. The place was full of...well...fathers. Took the kids to the 'fairy forest'...

They were extremely stoked. Liv was excited to see fairies. Briar was just plain excited.
I was excited to take a million pictures. (I filled my card by midday.)
I only saw one sweet little fairy. Liv saw tonnes.
I love the magic of the forest.
I am so happy that I have kids who love it too.
I got a kick out of this sign. It made me think of the 'whomping willow'. (Yes, I've read 'Harry Potter') Liv said to me in her very serious tone, "Trees won't hurt you if you're nice them, you know." We picked up Jeff's fabulous cousin, Pam. With it being Father's Day, we figured it was appropriate to spend time with someone related to the kid's father...Also, Pam lost her father three years ago and the kids are a tie to her dad as well. I hope we can keep it a tradition.
She treated the kids to mammoth-sized ice cream cones.
I got to eat most of Briar's.
Liv enjoyed feeding the pigeons on the dock.

Briar enjoyed chasing them.
It pissed Liv off a bit.

Climbed to the top of the clock tower...

Took pictures....

We saw a boat that Jeff used to run. I felt like running down to it to check if he was there. I know it's stupid but at times, I just feel like if I look hard enough, I'll find him.
Checked out the wares at the fish market.

Had a play at the park.

Wrote letters, drew pictures and attached them to balloons to send to Jeff... My letter was dirty. He'd think that was funny.

Kids in the park thought we were there with balloons to hand out. They started to mill around in the hopes of getting a balloon. They must of thought we were crazy to let them go right away and not have a meltdown.

Liv wanted to know how Jeff would get the rolled up note out of the balloon string. I said that I think he already knows what it says and that the balloons were just a formality.

We watched them fly could see them for a long time....escpecially the red one. Maybe next year, we'll only get red ones.

I'm still just trying to sort out some 'feeling stuff'. There is so much more I need to let out....but I am hestitant to let it out here. I need to get it out.
I am considering making my blog password protected. I am hesitant because I have grown to really appreciate the community...of both homeschoolers, friends and other widows. I don't want to close that off but I also am bothered by some...stuff.
I am not positive that I am doing this yet BUT here is my email address if you'd like access.


about denise said...


I have commented once or twice but check in on you every day. I feel a little awkward offering my opinion on such a personal situation but here it goes.

Advice from a complete stranger: If you feel that you need to vent your feelings in a more "private" setting I say go for it. Do whatever you need to do. Kick, scream, punch a punching bag, get a tattoo, make a big bonfire, or anything else that enables you to "let out" your other feelings.

I have written this in your comments before, and my opinion has not changed. I think you are amazing. If you should ever wish to resurface again to update "us" on your journey it is appreciated but certainly not expected. You don't owe anyone an explanation. :)

If you never post again, I just want to say that my heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. I just wanted get this comment out there if you decide to close your blog in the near future.


Poppy & Mei said...

Oh, smiling.
So beautiful, I have goosebumps...Xxx

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I can't access your email, Jackie.

I agree with Denise. Do what you must to create a safe place for you to vent.

If you are comfortable with it, I'd love to be a part of that.

Laurie (

Anonymous said...

Hi Jackie,

I agree - do whatever you need to do for yourself. I have been so touched by your blog and your amazing honesty. I would love access if you feel I'm trustworthy -- I've left a number of comments. The link to your email is not working -- maybe that's on purpose. WHatever you decide, I send great warm wishes your way.

Nancy (

The Nikkel's said...

Just wanted to let you know i love the photos of the kiddos, and of course reading your blog!! i stumbled on your blog, not exactly sure what led me here, but i've enjoyed 'getting to know you' a little from your blog. i too agree with what everyone else says, if you feel you need to make this private, that is totally acceptable!!!! i wouldn't blame you one bit. your family is beautiful. Lisa