Wednesday, August 05, 2009

five year plan

I've never had a five year plan. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I have scoffed at the idea and decided that this was the stuff of accountants, economists and other dry conversationalists (sorry for the prejudice if you are any of the above ;) ).
Now, as I am adrift without anyone else to hold my hand, I find myself needing to have something to anchor me. I need a plan.
Oh, how I abhor to be pinned down. To have a concrete idea of what 'should' or 'must' be done makes me want to rebel and run away while plugging my ears and singing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' at the top of my lungs. Juvenile, I know, but I hate being 'told' what to do. But I am wondering if the development of such a plan would help me to feel secure again and not so lost?
So over the next little while, I am going to be doing some soul searching. I am going to attempt to find a path that fits us and will help us to be in a place of more comfort and security in five years.
At the conference, I went to a workshop by another widow who had changed her life and is now helping to change the lives of others in this situation. I have to say that that one hour helped me immensely, but I have yet to actually sit down and use some of the tools that she taught. I will honestly say that fear is the major hindrance to my facing all of these unexamined facets of my life. Ah, fear! What would life be like without you, you bitch?!
First on my five year agenda will be a pathway to achieving better financially security. Isn't that on every accountant's list of 'to-do's? (I'm going to take this chance to remind any of you non-widows to MAKE SURE that you have life insurance 'cause that's the soap box I stand on regularly).
Do you have a five year plan? Am I just way behind the times along with all the other pimply-faced, greasy-haired teenagers???


Single Parent Dad said...

I don't have a five year plan, I've really been planning in short bursts since my wife died. Though recently I have started to think more about the future, and what it might hold. So I would say I have direction rather than a plan. Good luck.

Poppy and Mei said...

I have a great mate who's catch phrase is "The plan is, there is no plan!"
Plans don't have to be set in stone, I like what SPD has to say... XXxx.

P.S. The universe pretty much does what it wants anyway...right?

Anonymous said...

The first class I took in grad school was about formulating a five year plan as a person and educator. It was about a year into my late husband's illness and I had gone back to school to ensure my daughter and I would have a better future because regardless, it was going to be just her and me.

Five years was too far for me though. I set a two year plan and I followed it almost to the letter. It's a bit scary to read it now because I stuck to it that closely.

The plan came to an end about six months after my husband died. I drifted a while after frankly because I was exhausted on every level.

Plans can be a good way to navigate crisis or redirect yourself.

Hawkfeather said...

i don't have a five minute plan.

Kathryn said...

I hate being told what to do too! And I'm talking hate it! Which is actually a big reason why I'm leaving my current position so I can be a teacher...much more freedom and creativity there for me.

OK...gotta go post on your other post...about that gorgeous dress!!!!!!!!

Ashley said...

My five year plan changes every few months, so while I try I'm just not great at planning ahead.

I noticed on Matt's blog that he is coming to Van next week, if you and your kiddo's are ever on the mainland and have a free moment, my munchkins and I would love to meet you guys!

Crash Course Widow said...

I don't know that a 5-year plan is something you can realistically make as a 17-months-out widow. So much can change and in so many ways that 5 years might be a bit too far out...and might feel a bit too binding. I'm not trying to sink your boat or anything--I think trying to come up with any plan at all is a great idea and fantastic goal. But as a veteran widow who tried to make so many plans in widowhood...ones that never happened, fell apart, ended up devastating me, etc. etc....I just want to add a gentle caution.

Maybe just make "smaller" a 1-month small plan. And a 6-month slightly bigger plan. And a 1-year even larger plan. But don't hold yourself a slave to the "plan" or beat yourself up when things don't pan out, etc. Even though you've survived a lot in the last 17 months, you still have so much more ahead of you in widowhood.

I like what Ian said, about having a direction rather than a plan. Wise mind, that Brit has. ;o) But I do think it IS helpful and important to have some larger path/direction/"plan" in front of you. Otherwise it's too easy to start drowning and sink. (Been there, done that.)

Hugs, my dear! Miss you like crazy!!!! =)