I am having an infinitely hard time lately with not only losing Jeff and the ensuing fall-out but my beloved grandfather is ill and in hospital. He and I have always been close and I am intensely concerned about his health.
I have been dealing with the effects of mastitis....again. I feel like crap. I can't take regular antibiotics due to allergies and the drugs that they have me on are hard on the stomach.
Eli is having more bad days than good, it seems. He is having trouble walking but isn't in pain and is quite happy. Do I put him down because he can't walk? Do I wait until he is in pain? I can't imagine dealing with my life without him. I realize that's slightly ridiculous...but I have always had him to be with me. Through everything.
FUCKles ate another batch of freshly hatched chicks and soon-to-hatch duck eggs. I hate him right now. I know it's instinct for him....but fuck, I hate him.
I'm on the FOURTH computer since Jeff died. My new camera isn't uploading images for some bloody reason and I can't figure out while all this brand-new technological crap is breaking. I need things to go smoothly just for awhile and everything is rough.
The Silencing of a Poet
1 day ago