I have the stomach flu now too. I feel awful. It's actually hard to not feel sorry for myself and wish that Jeff was here to watch the kids while I barf. How am I going to do this by myself? I am so exhausted. Trying to comfort small children in the middle of the night while you ralph is so hard to do....I wanted to scream to just 'go to bed'! I can't. They are scared and there is no one to calm their fears but me.
I am feeling enveloped by this black hole of hopelessness right now. It doesn't feel like any of this will get better. It actually feels worse as the shock and fog wear off. I have nothing to look forward to. I am alone with two little ones who need me. I can't be there like I used to be. I am too wrapped up in my sadness. I can't shake it. I so need Jeff to just old my hand or tell me it'll be okay one day. I am terrified.
Liv went to a birthday party yesterday. Mid-way through she was found crying by my mom. Liv said, "Everyone here has a daddy. I don't and it's not fair." What am I supposed to do?! I want to make it better. I will NEVER be able to make it better and that is excruciating. This isn't fucking fair!!!!!!
THE FIREHOUSE CHRONICLES – EPISODE 15
3 weeks ago