Friday, August 22, 2008

busy, busy...too bloody busy

We've been going 9-0 for the last few weeks. I feel as if my head is spinning the majority of the time. I don't know if it is Summer and trying to fit everything in that is making me crazy or if it is the need to get out of the house and away from....the feelings at home, but life is too busy. The kids are exhausted....
But we have managed to fit in visits with cousins....
Grandparents...
And trips to my dad's farm.
We've spent time with both of my siblings....(the picture above with my brother and Liv - not the horses)
And checked out some of the equine inhabitants at Dad's....again the picture above...

A couple of family get-togethers...(although most of these pictures were taken on the same day...oops.)
And cuddles with family.
We've gotten to hang with Grandpa a few times.
And check out Dad's machinery as he finishes haying for the year (big hit with the littlest ones).
Lots of farmer's markets and produce from B&P's farms...
And eating fresh from the fields (That's a cucumber).
I am tuckered out and ready for the big "F' word - Fall. I am looking forward to nights that are dark just after dinner and cuddling with the little ones near the woodstove. I am sure that this year will be so very different than years gone by....and so very much more sad. But I want to calm down. I want a break from the whirlwind. I want to rest now.




3 comments:

Marissa said...

you've sure had a whirlwind summer, which is awesome, and i hope the upcoming fall offers you a few slower paced days and peace.

Kate said...

I love Fall. We don't really have one here. It just gets less hot. I love the photos of the farm.

Crash Course Widow said...

I spent the first year after Charley died running, running, running. Staying oh-so-busy, busy, busy. It wasn't conscious (I don't think??) but in hindsight, I think I needed to stay busy so that the full range of the loss wouldn't hit me so quickly. And as a strategy it largely worked...I guess. I know I had a BIG fall (of the non-season variety) when I did finally stop running, though. But that's just me.

I, too, am always glad when summers end. Summers suck ass for me, even if only in hindsight, because Charley died in the summer, so summers are now always something to just have to survive. I can enjoy myself in them now (sort of), but this is the 4th summer now that I've had to survive as a widow, and as I roll into fall I have thought every time how hard the summer was. I've always LOVED the fall--it's always been my favorite season--and in grief it becomes a reprieve. It's an excuse to get to be more private, less social, less "up" and falsely happy because it's (yippee skippee) nice weather; the quieter beauty of crisp fall days and the solitude of rainy days suit my mood better.

I hope you find some moments of solace as you enter Autumn.

Hugs,
Candice