Tuesday, August 26, 2008

happy birthday to me


I'm 33 today. It's ridiculous but since I was a kid I have said that I thought I would die when I was 32 . I kind of did.

34 comments:

Christa said...

"Happy" Birthday.

Deb said...

Happy Birthday! May 33 be all that you wish it to be. Celebrate you...for YOU are an incredible person.

PolarBearCreations said...

Happy Birthday Jackie!
I'm wishing you all the very best !
Treat yourself! You deserve it!
You are a fantastic person!
:0)

Eilie said...

Happy Birthday! I hope it is.....

It's my son's birthday, too. We'll have an extra piece of ice cream cake in your honor. (sounds like a good reason to eat 2 pieces, right!!??)

Cheers to your 33rd year.

Namaste.

manxlass said...

Visitor via Matt's site, delurking today. All best thoughts for everything your bday can be. Don't minimize it -- you are special to everyone who loves you. Do not forget this.

Kate said...

Happy birthday!

tanis said...

Yeah... when I was little I truly believed I'd grow up to be an "Indian Woman". When I did grow up and realised it was impossible I still felt kind of bummed that it didn't happen. But one day, as a young woman, I was told my name is First Nations so I felt a part of me did get to grow up to be an Indian Woman.
When you say as a child that you thought you'd die at 32 and now feel a part of you did, well...it just makes me think of how wise children are. Maybe there is some kind of plan?
Jackie...I'm glad you were born 33years ago. It's great to be on this planet at the same time as you are!
xo, Tanis

Anonymous said...

Another Matt Lurker...

Thinking of you today - hang in there, you are doing wonderfully & are an awesome mom to those beautiful kids. keep putting one foot in front of the other & know that there are lots of people out here rooting for you.

TheSingingBird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Miss Jackie...HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....from your not so anonymous stalker.

Lilia..

dottyspots said...

Happy Birthday :0)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Jackie! 33 is a good year. I hope this year brings you many glimpses of happiness : )

cara said...

happy birthday!

katie j said...

Happy Birthday Jackie.
Sending extra happy thoughts and wishes your way today!

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Hi, I just found your blog and wanted to say that I hope your day was a good one. I've only read 2 of your posts and am already crying. I'm so sorry that your husband died. I'm so sorry that you are in pain. I know you will probably be glad when today is over. Those first year of holidays are the worst! I'm praying for you.

~Lynn

about denise said...

Best wishes to you on your birthday, Jackie.

darcie said...

Happy Birthday Jackie ~ Sending you all the good wishes and happy thoughts you can bear!
xoxo - darcie

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Hugs being sent from Calgary,

Lisa

theMpLsnancy said...

Here's to hoping that you have the best birthday that you possibly can!

Just another one of Matt's Creeps in the MN thinking of you today.

~nothin'butlove
xoxo

kirsten said...

have been peaking in on your life for awhile now. haven't had the words to say anything, until today...happy birthday, jackie! i wish you sweet things.

leigh in the sav said...

i hope your birthday is all it can be and you have found some small measures of enjoyment, some light.

jackie, i am so sorry.

darcie said...

Jackie - I have the most perfect birthday gift for you - could you email me your email address?
I could mail it but I'd rather send you an e-cert...

darciegust at yahoo dot com

matt_in_the_los_angeles said...

stupid birthdays.

hope it didn't suck too much.

Rach said...

Hope those gorgeous babies you have made you smile today.

Big hugs and kisses from us xxx And a little kick from the tiny one...

Lindsay D. said...

Happy Birthday Jackie, you amazing woman, you! I'm sure it's bittersweet, but I hope you can take a moment and reflect on the incredible woman that you are- daughter, sister, wife, mother, teacher, friend. . .

I'm sure Jeff would be telling you that he loves you the "whole pie" tonight, for sure- feel it. . .

Happy Birthday- You inspire me. . . .

:) Lindsay D.

another jackie said...

Jackie...I was introduced to your blog from Matt's blog and have been a faithful reader ever since. I know this birthday is a painful one for you and there are no words that I can say to change that. I wanted to share this poem with you. I thought of you when I read it. It comes from the blog of a family who lost their 10 week old son to SIDS on March 17th. They too are going through indescribable grief and found comfort in the words of this poem. I thought that maybe you would too. You can read their story at www.thelukesponbergfoundation.blogspot.com

Jackie, I know that is time you will find peace, the grief will quiet. But until then, cry when you have to, be mad when you want to, grieve in whatever way you need to. Just know that there are alot of people out here that pray for you and your children daily and you are always in our thoughts.

Another Jackie in Southern California...



Please Be Gentle
By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?

Crash Course Widow said...

Damn, don't you *hate* when you're (sort of) right like that?? (Re: the dying at 32.)

I hope you had a nice (enough?) birthday, all things considered, and that you did--or will, in the next few days--to do something extra-nice just for you. I make a point to get a nice grown-up meal in a restaurant with friends (or myself, if that's my mood) or a massage or something on my birthday or other tough "big" dates in widowhood (wedding anniversaries, Charley's bday, death anniversary, Mother's Day, etc.). Those special plans don't take the pain away but at least they give me *something* to look forward to on such crappy days.

Here's hoping you have a day of peace and serenity....

Hugs,
Candice

Crash Course Widow said...

Oh, and a Happy Birthday, by the way. I forgot to say that. ;) Oops....

kris in the mn said...

Happy Birthday Jackie!

Sending you hugs and good wishes from the mn...

Kathryn said...

Saying Happy Birthday to you doesn't feel quite right to me, when I know you're having such a hard time right now. But I do wish you a happy day and I will eat cake in your honor and make a toast to you from afar.

Hugs!

Elfie33 said...

Happy Birthday..*sending hugs and best wishes*

IamDerby said...

Happy Birthday, I hope your day was better than you expected it to be

Patty said...

Okay- this is so weird! My birthday is August 26 as well and I turned 33 this year as well. I lost my husband 10 months ago and have 2 kids. We are too much alike in good and bad ways!