bring on the new year...

Goodbye and good riddance, 2008! You won't be missed, you sour bastard.
I am hoping that 2009 will bring peace, joy and healing back into this house and into the homes of all of you.
You'll have to excuse this 'disconbobulated' post as I seem to have brought in the new year with a wicked ear infection forcing me to ingest large-ish amounts of Tylenol 3's causing my thoughts to run random and amok. My kids are with my sister allowing me some rest and I am hoping that my eardrum will not rupture....although this would be the 15th time that I have experienced this event making it a rather common happening for me.
I have no sage words of wisdom brought on by the pharmaceutical induced boat-like rocking of my brain and the floor. However, I figured as the efficient and philosophical human that I am, I would use the pain-free qualities of the T3's and begin the year with a 'clean slate' so to speak. So I am cooking a batch of 'sugaring' and I am going to remove my leg hair. Yes, I warned you. This post is not of the regular melancholy or crafty sort. It is frivolity and ridiculousness. Even shallowness. The silly ephemeral crap that I regularly bemoan on this blog.
Anyhow, here is a fabulous and effective recipe for sugaring (sugaring is like waxing, but can be washed off with plain water if you get the concoction in the 'wrong' spot or you just lose your nerve).

2 cups sugar
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice

I just add the ingredients in a large sauce pan (making it harder to boil over), stir a couple of times and heat to 265 degrees (using a candy thermometer). I remove the pot from the heat and after it has cooled substantially, I pour the molasses like product into a couple of salmon canning jars (I find the wide-mouth of these jars the best for scooping out the sugaring). When it's has cooled enough to apply to the skin, I use a tongue depressor to apply it in a stripe in the direction of the hair growth. I, then, use a strip of precut cotton fabric (I use fabric that has been cut with pinking shears to minimize fraying) to press onto the sugar. I hold the skin taut and swiftly pull the fabric in the OPPOSITE direction of growth (don't pull it 'out' as you'll end up with a bruise - pull it up and back against the skin). Repeat until you're hair-free.
*When doing delicate areas (bikini line and arm pits) apply cornstarch to your skin beforehand as it makes the sugar less likely to adhere to your skin - just the hair.

*You may end up with small raise red bumps after doing this initally as your skin gets used to having its' hair suddenly ripped from its' follicles. It's temporary. Just don't do this the same day you plan to go out in a bathing suit...unless you like red polkadot skin.

Then, just rinse out all your little cloth strips, hang them to dry and use them again next time. As you get into the groove of doing this, you shouldn't have to sugar, shave or wax more often than once a month. You'll have to do it a few times first to get all levels of hair growth first, though.
When you have to do it again, heat your little jar up in a sauce pan of water until it is the consistency of honey and 'fly at 'er'!

It's inexpensive, effective and enviro-friendly! Wee-hoo. I can't say it's totally pain-free, but it's not bad. And you get used to it. I can even do it now while on the phone and no one is the wiser!

*P.S. I think the idea of hair removal is a ridiculous and unfair societal pressure that women should not have to feel the pressure to undertake. It's ludicrous and unnecessary. That said, I am evidently a total hypocrite as I love the feeling of hairless legs and pits.

Happy New Year.