I haven't written in a few days and probably won't for awhile. My best friend, love of my life, father of my children and husband has died. It was sudden and terrible. I can not explain or express the horrible and awful depth of my pain. I worry for my children and I can't seem to think. I don't know what to do. I am lost. I don't know how I'll survive.
I tried so hard to save you, Jeff. I tried. I am so very sorry. I wish I could go back and try again. I would have given my life for yours.
I hope there is a place that he goes. I hope this isn't the end of his existence. I hope he can see me and be with me while I raise our small children. I will try to stick to what we had decided was best for our children in the raising and education of them. How am I going to afford this? How can I live without him? How can I even take one step or think about another day? I am so lost. I wish I could follow him.
I miss you....endlessly.