Sunday, March 30, 2008

I am still here. I am trying to...live. I ache for my husband. I miss him so terribly I can't stop either crying or living in a state of numb distraction. The shaking that I had for the first two days has stopped but I don't feel much better. I am so very worried about my children. Liv is having difficulty understanding and Briar just wants me as much as possible. I am not able to be the mother I usually am. This causes me pain. I want to help them but I can't. I am lost.
The autopsy results revealed that Jeff died of a pulmonary embolism. It was most likely cause from prolonged periods of sitting while running the boat.
I hope one day I can live again.
If anyone can think of a way that I can make money to stay home with my children, please let me know. I am afraid. I want to be able to raise our children the way we had decided was best. How will I do it (homeschool, SAHM) with out a source of income? What am I going to do?

22 comments:

Rach said...

Oh Jackie, I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your family. I don't have the answers and I wish I did. I am here for anything I can do. In a little while, I can help you with your etsy if you like - I have been around the etsy traps a little longer and picked up a few tips. Please know we are thinking of you. xxx

Poppy & Mei said...

Jackie,
I am going to set up a paypal account for the kids that people can donate too. Leave it in mine & Rach's hands, we will get onto it straight away.
Jackie, we are with you...XXxx

Poppy & Mei said...

There is now a button on Poppy & Mei Days... Please e-mail me at bexno1andonly@gmail.com so we can put the fund in your name...Xxx

thegoodwitch said...

Oh, Jackie, our hearts are with you right now and we hope and pray for your family.

Jaclyn said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

It's so wonderful that your friends are setting up a paypal account for you, I wish I could do more. I would be remiss if I didn't mention medical transcripting. It can provide a very stable income from home, but the course is not cheap - just something to think about when you are ready.

This course is the one that seems most prominent and the only one my doctor had heard about. http://www.canscribe.com/

Kristy said...

From someone who lost their daddy when they were young please believe me that you are being the mum you should be.You are showing your children that it's okay to express your emotions.That their Daddy is somebody worth being distraught about.That grief is a process and you can go through it together.Just hug each other often.Words don't always mean so much but actions always do.

Regina said...

Jackie, I am so sorry. I agree with the others regarding your children, it is ok to grieve. You need to, and they need to see that it is alright.

You and your children will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lynanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Saskia said...

oh sweet mama, I don't know you, but I mourn for you. I will remember you and your sweet babes in my prayers.

BaldyLocks said...

I live on Vancouver island as well. I also ended up single in traumatic circumstances with small children.

I may be able to help by sharing how I managed financially. It's probably best if you contact me through my Etsy shop and from there could send you my email.

wallcandy.etsy.com

I wish you all the best in this tragic time.

Mrs.French said...

I just happened upon you blog and you have no idea who I am. But know that you have one more person hoping the best for you and your sweet family.

christina at bamboletta said...

Jackie,
Please email me- I think I may be able to help you a bit on the financial end. I need some help with the dolls.
xo
Christina
christina@bamboletta.com

Little Lovables said...

I am so so sorry for the loss of your husband and children's father. I lost mine from Leukemia several years ago and he lives on in our memories and fun story tellings of him.

Your family will be in my prayers, and even though we are strangers you can feel free to rant to me at any time.

Poppy & Mei said...

Thinking of you all today...Xxx

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you all day today! xoxo Danielle

Yarrow said...

I have only recently found your blog, but you have been on my mind and in my heart since I read of your husband's passing. May you feel the love and blessings that we are all sending your way.

Carle said...

You are in my heart today - I have no words.
:-(
Carle

kennedy & friends said...

Jackie,

Although I do not know you, please know that even from far my heart is with you. This is a very sad loss and I know you will need a lot of time to grief. You are a strong woman and I know you will find the light. Things will never be the same, but they will be ok. Your husband must have been an amazing man, husband, and father. I pray for you and for your children.

Love, Nathalie

Becky said...

I don't have any good suggestions, but I will think on it and get back to you.

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

When I lost my Parents, someone gave me a card which I thought about for quite some time and still often do...it read, "while the sun sets in one part of the world, it rises in another".

Please know that you have so many people that you will never know thinking of you and your sweet children at this sad time.

Please know too that you have inspired me to just hold on to that hug a moment longer each time, and take that extra kiss when my daughter puckers up.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you....
from June in Melbourne, Australia

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if any of these opportunities will work for you in Canada, but ABC News and Good Morning America just did a bit on making $$ from home. They did all the research - they're all legitimate. Here's the link - http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AsSeenOnGMA/story?id=4585337&page=1


All the best to you and your family in this unbelievably difficult time

Neurotic Chic said...

I don't know how it works or how much revenue it earns a blogger, but have you thought about adding ads to your blog? It's something you are already doing (blogging) and it appears you have many readers. Might be worth looking into. I just read a NYT article saying that "dooce" may make as much as $40,000 a month from her blog. Has to do with page views and so on. Now, she has TONS of readers, but even if you got a fraction of that it would help.

{{HUGS}}