Friday, June 20, 2008

don't trust in 'isms'

Jeff always laughed at my 'isms' as we called them. Other people may call them neurosis, magical thinking, OCD or just plain fucking odd.
I'd always leave the volume on the stereo on an even number. When I turned it off, I'd always have to leave it on 8. I don't know why really...Just I figured something 'bad' might happen if I didn't. And maybe 'good' things would happen if I did. Jeff would try to freak me out by leaving in on nine. He thought it was hilarious watching my discomfort as I tried to be 'okay with it'.
Or I figured, if I could make it to the top of the stairs without taking a breath, good things would happen (Jeff would get a land job. We'd win the lottery. Liv would sleep through the night. Etc.)
At 11:11, I'd again hold my breath and make as many wishes as I could. I somehow hoped that whatever I wished in that minute would come true if I held my breath.
If I saw something I didn't want in my life; such as a wildly swinging booger in someone's nostril, a three legged dog, or stirrup pants, I'd have to exhale. Conversely, I'd inhale if there was something that I found pleasing; a fabulous pair of green runners, an amazing painting, a photo of a crisp dew-filled morning, etc.
Anyhow, now that you think that I am truly weird, know that all this 'magical thinking' and all my 'isms' don't work. Bad shit happens even if you stand on your head while whistling 'Old McDonald' backwards while wearing your underpants with the Smurfs on it.


13mimosa said...

When I'm out and about if I see someone who I don't like the look of I hold my breath as I pass them. It's not that they necessarily smell, I wouldn't know because I'm holding my breath. I just don't want to breathe in someone's something if I don't like the look of them. Conversely, if they look nice I breathe in deeply.

You're not weird.


sari said...

OH MY GOSH, I was just going to say exactly what 13mimosa said.

I used to work at a huge un-named Swedish furniture store and I did the same thing. I didn't know why.

I also count things and I don't realize that I'm doing it until I'm in the teens or so...

And you're right, bad shit happens no matter what, but you're not weird in your -isms.

about denise said...

Stirrup Pants?


Poppy & Mei said...

He he he...Xxx

Anonymous said...

I love your crazy -isms. I think you are a complete weirdo and love you for every little bit of it!!!!! Non weird people are boring.

Danielle said...

I think everyone has them, maybe they dont talk about them, but we have them. Your time is 11:11 mine is 12:34.... I sure can make a lot of wishes in a minute!

Deb said...

Both my daughters were born on the 11th. My time is 11:11 too. If I see it on a clock I make lots of wishes, usually about their health and happiness.

TheSingingBird said...

11:11 is my number too, and I married #11 of 12 kids, and I don't think you're weird, I think you're extremely human!