Wednesday, June 25, 2008

my buddy, Eli

I woke up this morning to the nauseating smell of dog poop. Poor Eli was downstairs looking so upset with himself. In all his 15 years, he has only had an accident in the house a hand-full of times...all of them due to human error (leaving him in while I went out for longer than expected).
I am worried about him....actually, I'm being selfish. I am worried more about me. He has a herniated disk. I've taken him to veterinarians, neurologists and even had someone show me how to preform 'doggy massage' to help his recently failing mobility. It was only a year ago that he could sail clear over the closed tailgate of the truck if he decided that he was going to accompany Jeff somewhere in his travels. Now somedays, he half-drags himself across the yard, giant kong in his mouth, barking incessantly with frustration at his inability to play as he'd like to. It breaks my heart....A LOT.
I've had Eli since I was 18. He's been the best dog in the world. Crazy. Protective (not in a attack people way, but in the stopping baby from falling down the stairs by laying across the top way) He's definitely driven me insane at times with his need to be in constant motion but he forced me to be active when I wasn't really in the mood more times than not. He has been my constant companion through everything I have experienced since I became an adult. Jeff loved him. He called him 'Buckethead' and they'd snuggle on the floor. That was big because Eli is SO not the cuddly, lick your face kind of dog. He's a bit of a doggy snob. Only interested in his 'family' unless the new person is throwing a ball. As soon as they stop throwing, Eli ignores them again.

He and I drove to Mexico together (with an old boyfriend) and back. We moved to a new town without knowing anyone there. Jeff and he were buddies when we started dating. He's been with me through the birth of both of our kids. And now the death of Jeff. I can't imagine life without him....But I think it may soon be time. I am dreading it. I am afraid. Jeff and I were supposed to do this together.
I realize that this post may sound silly to someone who isn't a dog person. I also know that it may be crazy for me to feel as if I'm having to deal with the mortality of a best friend....But I love him. And he has shown that he loves me with his brown doggy eyes through so many years. I love you, Eli.


Anonymous said...

Hi Jackie,

Eli is beautiful. So much loss.... I'm sorry.


Kelsey said...

I am sorry sorry he isn't doing great right now! We are starting down that road with our Presa Canario Bleu. We have had her since our oldest was 15 months old and we bought our first house. She is a part of the family and all the memories. She has been trying to stay active and keep up with the kids out in the yard and keeps injuring one of her legs and having trouble walking for a few days. It is impossible to keep her off the stairs, she whines until you let her go up or down them to be with everyone. I think your a wonderful person for taking such good care of him! We have had several dogs over the years, that just didn't become a part of the family for some reason and we ended up finding them new homes. Bleu has been a family member since the beginning and a friend many times. She has kept me safe and alerted me to dangers many times. She goes crazy barking to get our attention if she feels the kids are in danger. I cannot imagine not having her around, and ever trying to find another dog someday that could be anything like her. I am so sorry Jeff isn't here to help you through this!

Neurotic Chic said...

First of all, how is it that your beauty has only INCREASED as you've gotten older??? NO fair! ;)

I am a dog lover, too, so I really understand how upsetting this must be for you. It's something we haven't faced yet with our dogs, but I dread the day, too.

I think even a non-dog lover could grasp a little bit of how hard it would be for you to contemplate the passing of your dog best friend so soon after losing your human best friend. {{HUGS}}

about denise said...

I totally get it. He is beautiful.

Gabi said...

So sorry to hear he's having health problems.....poor puppy! Hang in there!

Rach said...

I understand. I had a dog best friend too and we had to let her go... I still miss her.

Poppy & Mei said...

Awwwwwwwww, GOOOO BOOOII...Xxx

Anonymous said...

I can relate in that I too am a huge animal lover and have no idea what I will do when any of them (dogs and cats) pass on. I always say that each will be missed in almost everything I do. They are even with me as I sit in the bathroom...umm, 'reading'..HA! Little shawdows who love so unconditionally and ask for very little in return.

While recovering from chemotherapy this past furry kids laid with me for days on end, licked away most of my tears (and there were many) and always did their best to make me smile with their waggling tails or gentle snuggles.

There is no good time for Eli's passing, but I'm even more sorry for you that it is so soon after Jeff.

I know you are searching for answers Jackie and I more than respect that, but it is my belief that they will be together and that you will see them both again.

Huge gentle hugs for you and your kids.