I am worried about him....actually, I'm being selfish. I am worried more about me. He has a herniated disk. I've taken him to veterinarians, neurologists and even had someone show me how to preform 'doggy massage' to help his recently failing mobility. It was only a year ago that he could sail clear over the closed tailgate of the truck if he decided that he was going to accompany Jeff somewhere in his travels. Now somedays, he half-drags himself across the yard, giant kong in his mouth, barking incessantly with frustration at his inability to play as he'd like to. It breaks my heart....A LOT.
I've had Eli since I was 18. He's been the best dog in the world. Crazy. Protective (not in a attack people way, but in the stopping baby from falling down the stairs by laying across the top way) He's definitely driven me insane at times with his need to be in constant motion but he forced me to be active when I wasn't really in the mood more times than not. He has been my constant companion through everything I have experienced since I became an adult. Jeff loved him. He called him 'Buckethead' and they'd snuggle on the floor. That was big because Eli is SO not the cuddly, lick your face kind of dog. He's a bit of a doggy snob. Only interested in his 'family' unless the new person is throwing a ball. As soon as they stop throwing, Eli ignores them again.
He and I drove to Mexico together (with an old boyfriend) and back. We moved to a new town without knowing anyone there. Jeff and he were buddies when we started dating. He's been with me through the birth of both of our kids. And now the death of Jeff. I can't imagine life without him....But I think it may soon be time. I am dreading it. I am afraid. Jeff and I were supposed to do this together.
I realize that this post may sound silly to someone who isn't a dog person. I also know that it may be crazy for me to feel as if I'm having to deal with the mortality of a best friend....But I love him. And he has shown that he loves me with his brown doggy eyes through so many years. I love you, Eli.