Wednesday, June 04, 2008

question period

I am struggling with some ideas that I've heard and have possibly thought...possible? I hear people talk of things that happen that are supposedly messages or signs from loved ones who've died: the special song on the radio, the coincidental meeting of someone you haven't seen in a long time right when you need them, the radio shutting off intermittently, the bird you see repeatedly, etc. I so want to believe these comforting thoughts but other more rational thoughts plague my mind making these other occurances seem to be just coincidences as I hunt for some sort of reason or belief.
This is what I wonder:
-If that song was put on the radio 'by Jeff', how did he do it? Did he 'possess' the DJ telling him that he had a sudden urge to put it on? Or maybe the station manager (isn't it them who decide what to play and when?) How did he know I would be listening? I flip through channels constantly.
Also, what about all the other songs? They have to mean something to someone out there listening. Does that mean that radio is basically just a 'request show' for ghosts and spirits to let their loved ones know they're there?!

-The bird is on its' seasonal migration North. I provide seed. It's beneficial for it to stay around while it raises it babies where it has a supply of food. It just happens to be a cool looking bird. Would I notice if Jeff 'picked' a nondescript bird? Is Jeff the bird?
-When the radio unexpectedly turns off and on, how can I say it's Jeff? How can a dead person, even if (a stretch here) is still 'alive', turn a radio off and on? Does he use his transparent fingers to press the off switch?
-Did Jeff know where I'd be at a certain time and whispered in the person's ear that they must go there too? How? I didn't know I was going to be there until the last minute.
-What about when good things happen to you and you think 'Hey, that must be ____ giving me a helping hand.' It would only make sense then that someone who really thought you were a shit caused all the crappy stuff to happen.
Please excuse the sarcasm, but I want to believe. I guess part of me does believe, out of the need for comfort. But the rest of me is angry....frustrated that I hear of people who whole-heartedly believe these things and how it brings them peace. I want peace. But I am too rational when it comes to this...death and spirits. I am afraid of believing and being let down. Reaching the end of the road, hoping to find Jeff laughing as I run into his arms once again, and only finding a quiet darkness. I don't want to get my hopes up. I just want to know he can see the kids and how they're growing and what they're doing. I want to know he's with me and telling me he thinks I am doing okay. That he knows that I wish I could go back in time and relish every tiny conversation and snuggle a little more.
Please tell me your stories. Help me believe. I really want to know he's here.


Poppy & Mei said...

Hey Jackie.
I don't have a story but I'll tell you what I was thinking as I read your post.
Millions of people report signs & messages from love ones. Therefor I think it's resonable to see some truth in it.
The song, the bird, the person you needed to see?
I don't necessarily think this "is" Jeff, I think it is Jeff putting the thoughts of him into your mind via these symbols. Does that make any sense?
Appearing to you in dreams & symbols & messages is his gentle way of letting you know he is still with you, watching the kids & you grow.
He loves you all Jackie, he'll always be with you.
As time moves on the messages will make you smile, even laugh sometimes & these will be the amazing special times you will share with your kids.
Private, beautiful family time...Xxx

Anonymous said...

i think jeff will always be around you, jackie in many different ways. sure, it could be the bird, or the song on the radio.

i have survived the death of two spouses- and i don't know what i believe. i think one of them is there when i look into his sons (my boys)eyes, i am sure i 'felt him' the first christmas after he passed, making sure we were okay. i love that i can now laugh about him, and share memories with friends. corny as it sounds, i think sometimes they are my 'gaurdian angels', the voices of reason, that stop me from doing really stupid stuff. i do silly thing now for both of them too, because i am sure that they or their energy somehow surrounds me. i wear their clothes when i went to west virginia, somewhere he had always wanted to go. I stood atop of a mountain, and i said "we're here, baby...we made it" and i wore the big guys shirt to disney, because i knew that a part of him would have loved it there...and i believe he WAS there with us. i really do.
I don't have any 'proof'to offer you- but i know what i believe brings me comfort, and sometimes that is enough.
Thinking of you often; as are many Jackie. Take care, okay.

Wendy Mewhort said...

Hi Jackie.
Wow. To ask people to share their stories of spirit- wow. Thank-you, I'd be honored.
Honesty you value, honesty you asked for, so honest I will be.
When I first met you, over five years ago now at Parker's 1st b-day party, I was glad to finally meet you, for our mutual friend often spoke of you with admiration, and it was nice to put a face to the name.
At that time I was an atheist. I was raised Anglican, and went to church weekly for the first 12 years of my life. I proudly, venomously rejected anything spiritual from the age of 12 until... I read the 1st chapter of the Celestine Prophesy about 10 years ago. There are NO coincidences was the message of this chapter. I put the book down, and although I didn't understand at the time that this was a seed to my spiritual awakening, I did feel that I was forever changed, and I couldn't release this concept from myself- it seemed to resonate so deeply with my core being, even though my mind/head believed that there was nothing more than that which I could see.
Fast forward to exactly three years ago- still a self-proclaimed nonbeliever, out of touch with the power and importance of my feelings, I lived my life through my HEAD, (what I THOUGHT I should do) instead of through my HEART. (what FEELS good to me now) I was, quite frankly, ashamed and critical of feelings, and deemed what I thought to be 'rational intelligence' the only thing of importance.
Needless to say, this way of living created great conflict in my soul, (which I didn't at the time even realize I had,) and Josh and I were daily locked in an angry exchange of words, avoidance, and downright hate.
Oh, how we loved each other, but oh how we hated each other at that point. Both of us weren't getting our needs met, so neither of us was willing to meet the other's needs. Geeesh- we didn't even know what needs were, and how to fulfill them- we just both wanted to be right. In truth, we both just wanted to be understood, cared for, and loved. But, our pain was so great that all we could do was respond/react to our emotions the only way we knew how.
On the surface, to most of our friends, everything between us seemed fine. But, I was dying inside, and I could not stand the idea that this (the fighting) was the legacy we were laying down for our children. Something had to change, although I didn't know how.
A friend was seeing a counsellor for marital issues and exclaimed that it was the best money she had ever spent. So I did it. I called him. I made an appointment. I asked for help. I can't even put into words how difficult this was for me at the time, (for I believed it to be the greatest weakness,) but it ended up as being, as of now, the single most important decision I EVER made.
Through the next six months of bi-weekly counselling from this guided hypnotherapist, I found MYSELF again. Oh, how I didn't even know that I was a lost soul... but everything I learned, everything I began to understand, receive, and believe... everything. Everything about my life changed. And what changed?
My perception- I now knew that I had a soul, which meant that I had a purpose, which meant that there was a reason why I was here... which meant that there is so much more to this world than we can discover with only our five senses.
In Dec. of that year I experienced a period of enlightenment. I was ONE with god, and the universe, and I just felt and knew things that I can not explain with words. Everything was connected: every person, every situation, every creature, every everything. Everything moved in a fashion that was intentional, directed, and purposeful.
I started writing- pages, pages, and pages of information. I couldn't stop- it was an uncontrollable urge that surged through me, and I kept writing, and writing, and writing.
I know understand that I was channeling.
I received tons of information that is considered 'universal wisdom' and knowledge that helped give me instantaneous new understandings and beliefs.
I received information about the future/ my future, and it felt good. It felt like 'wow- that's really who I am, and who I want to be'. I was in bliss. I was light, and free, and filled with this unexplained feeling of pure love. I knew that all always is perfect and divine. All that is is meant to be, for we are all here to evolve our soul by living out, and learning certain life lessons that we agreed to before we came here.
Wow, eh?
People from all over the world, from every country, report this type of mystic experience- it is universal. In some cultures it is revered, celebrated, and honored, however, in ours due to certain societal belief systems and concepts, it can be seen as 'crazy' or impossible. But truth be told by me (ha-ha) I'm not crazy, and it definitely IS possible. This type of experience is often referred to as the kundalini energy awakening, as all of my chakras became unblocked, my physical ailments instantaneously disappeared (full body nerve pain that I had had for the past 8 months following bladder surgery, arthritis in my hands, menstral cramps, etc.) and I experienced life through what is referred to as the crown chakra.
Yeppers... life has never been the same since.
The experience propelled me forward into a series of events to help me grasp and understand what had happened, and what life really is about. First I was guided to kundalini yoga, and then through level 1 and 2 reiki training. Then, in the summer of '06 a 'mommy friend' of mine (who I'd seen for the past 6 years at b-day parties, etc.) started up a weekly meditation circle at her house. At this point I didn't know how to contact spirit at will, but felt very guided to learn more and participate.
Over the next year my personal experiences with receiving from spirit are waaay too numerous to share here. I became immersed in the understanding that spirit is with us always, and that in truth, we too are spirit in human form.
The lady who hosted the meditation circle 'went public' with the fact that she is a clairvoyant medium, (one who can see those, and communicate with those, who have crossed over) and this helped me greatly in opening up and beginning to understand the world of spirit. But it was my personal accounts that I experienced that affected me the most.
Every Wed. night we did a chakra clearing cd, and then did a guided meditation: John Edwards, Doreen Virtue, Deepak Choprah, Slyvia Browne, David Large, to name a few. In this process I received communication from my spirit guides, learned about the roles/ purposes of angels, and even communicated wit loved ones who have crossed over.
There was only 4 weeks I missed that year in Dec., for little Lukey was born by caesarean, and I couldn't drive to her house. Ha-ha.
In Jan '07 I started my hypnotherapy training and finished my certification by Nov.- through this process I learned about the different stages of the mind and consciousness, and had many many more personal experiences with spirit.
So, by last summer I had 'opened up' to various exciting new belief systems, (and shed away the old ones I had been conditioned into in the past,) so much so that I was ready to go public. That's when my website was created, [which initially scared the crap out of me because I'd never been on a computer before that (ok, once or twice in my early twenties at a friend's house to make a resume)] and I began to master the art of manifestation. Soon enough, channelings I received were locally published, and as of now three have been internationally published.
As of today I am always immersed in the world of sprit. All day, everyday. I telepathically communicate with all spirit at will: guides, highest realms, higher selves, those waiting to be born, those who have crossed over, pets, crystals... everything. I have evolved to the point of understanding that this is a gift I have because of my purpose here, but it doesn't change the fact that all people can learn how to communicate with spirit in the way that is best for them.
I had a lot of resistance and fear in me when I realized that what I did was considered 'psychic'. I had definite negative perceptions and connotations connected to that word. So, release my fears I did, and now I'm comfortable in my own skin, knowing that ALL people have the ability to be what is called psychic.
Everyone can meditate. Everyone can learn to channel their guides. Everyone can verbally channel wisdom for a friend, everyone can gain insight into their destiny so that they may manifest the life they truly desire. Everyone.
I could go on and on telling you about my experiences, about my friends, about my children's telepathic and clairaudient experiences... that many children today are clairvoyant and misunderstood... but I understand completely that my experiences mean SHIT to you, in terms of believing, because it is YOU who desires to KNOW, not just hear about the stories of others.
As far as I'm concerned you're on the right path for you. You're asking questions because you are curious, and THAT strength of character, in and of itself, is what leads you on the path to getting the answers that you need for you.
Good luck- it is my understanding that you are surrounded in love, by loved ones on this realm, and others.
You are the authority, and you know what is best for you...
Thanx for asking me to share,

GreenStyleMom said...

I'll be honest that I don't know what I believe, but I do have a story that we love to tell in our family...

My maternal grandmother always wanted a red-headed grandchild. There is no red hair on my mom's side of the family. When I and my two siblings were born, my grandmother reportedly was disappointed that none of us had red hair. Then two more cousins from my uncle were born. No red hair. My aunt adopted a little girl and then gave birth to a little boy. No red hair. That aunt was pregnant with my youngest cousin when my grandmother died. A few months later my cousin was born... Yup! With bright red hair! We always say that grandma got to heaven and insisted on her red headed grandbaby.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Jackie:

I came across this message of yours and...immediately felt your inner turmoil and struggle, so, I am offering a response in a higher form. I hope this helps, my friend.

(channeling begins)

Good afternoon, Jackie!

Let me express to you, Jackie, I am acknowledging that you have been creating movement.

In this, many times individuals within physical focus may be creating of an intensity in movement subjectively, and this may display itself outwardly in objective terms, in seeming as an element of trauma or great distress.

You may be in actuality...projecting fearful energy outwardly, and you may in actuality create an entity that you may physically view. You are not creating of this type of extreme, but within the concentration of energy, the fear was projected within you to almost be creating of an entity within you to be blocking your individual expression to you, in which this concentration of energy would be repelling of each expression that you attempted to be offering to yourself.

What you are expressing is a “breaking through.” This is creating your window, your portal through this concentration of energy that has been recognized as the fear, and allowing yourself to be expressing to this energy, “Stop.” And in this expression you let go, and in this letting go, think to yourself of physical expressions of energy.

Many times it may be somewhat easier to view other individuals and their behaviors, their choices and their experiences, and generate an understanding of what they are creating than it may be to view your own.

Each emotion that you create is a communication in the moment. It is expressing a message to you concerning what you are creating in that moment, all of your senses are other avenues of communication. This is their function. The function of emotion is a communication. The function of all of your senses, inner and outer senses, is communication. The function of impulses and impressions is communication. You incorporate communication in your physical body expressions. It is an intricate expression of your BEING in this physical dimension.

Very well.

I offer to you tremendous acknowledgment of your movement and an encouragement in your continuation.

In this, I express to you this day quite lovingly, a fond good afternoon.

(channeling ends).

I hope this has offered you some benefit, my friend.