Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Mrs. vs. Ms.

I have started to receive mail with the title 'Ms.'. Who the heck made these rules? In my mind, I am still married. I did not get a divorce. If I could choose, I would still have my husband with me right now. I find it insulting that I am now classified as 'single'. I wear my wedding ring. I will probably always wear it...forever. I didn't leave him. He didn't choose to leave me. It was beyond our control. He is still and will always be my husband. I know that it is still very new, but I CANNOT imagine being 'single' ever again. I feel like calling these various companies and individuals and complaining. Don't call me Ms.


myheartbleeds said...

Dear Jackie,

First of all, my deepest condolences to you and your family over the loss of your husband. I'd hate to say I know how it feels, but I do. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my partner in crime, my hubby in Feb last year after he suffered a sudden heart attack.

I remember the early months after he passed... getting over the shock and the disbelief... I think that's what you're going through now, but I may be wrong. I must acknowledge the fact that different individuals go through unique experiences, all their own.

It has been 14 months now since he left. I think I have gotten over the shock and the disbelief, though unfortunately the sadness, and the pain of missing the life that we could be living now creeps up on me all the time.

Like you, I still consider myself married. You're so right -- we never got a divorce. I tell people that all the time when they poke at me about getting another life partner.

My boss once called me Ms. and I corrected him. He said, "Isn't that how you should be addressed now?" and I said, "No, coz' I'm still a married woman." End of conversation. Of course, he apologized and it was nice of him to do so.

I consider all young widows my sisters, and I'd like to look at you as one too. I hope you don't mind.

So sis, I pray you gain all the strength you need to go on life without the love of your life. But I know you will make it as his love will guide you through in everything you do.

Take care, now.

Aunt Becky said...

Maybe you should call them. I think that I would.

Lots of love, Jackie.

sari said...

My grandpa died in about 1981 and my grandmother just died in December. She went by Mrs. for the rest of her life. It's still correct.

Carle said...

thomiHeh Jackie,

I think you are a beautiful Mrs!


Carle said...

Oops sorry for the Thomi in front of my greeting!