Oh, I wish I could take the hurt away. I yearn to heal the hurt you feel for the loss of your daddy. The anger you feel, Olivia, that Daddy didn't fix your watch that morning like he told you he would. The sadness you feel that Daddy isn't there in the night to soothe your fears of the things under the bed by snuggling you under his strong and comforting arms. The frustration you feel when I am unable to fulfill your constant pleas, Briar, to 'See Daddy'. I am trying to help you through this, my little ones. I am sorry that I stumble and fall and don't really know what I am doing. I am trying so hard but I didn't ever prepare myself for this...this horror.
I wish I had taken more notice of the stories he told you. Of the songs he sang you. Of the secret jokes you had. I thought we all had forever. Now I know you'll forget and I am worried that with only me to remember, it will cease to mean anything. This breaks my heart because he loved you both more than the sun, the moon and ALL the stars. He would have protected you from any forseable pain. He would have moved a mountain to see you laugh. I don't want you to forget his love, his laugh or his devotion to you. I will try to remember every moment for you....I only wish it were enough.