your hands

One of the things I will miss the most about you is your hands. I used to tell you that if elephants had hands, they would have hands like yours. They were so large, warm and capable.

You could deftly mend a net, build a toy of wood, and seemingly move mountains with your strong hands. And then you could cradle a baby so gently, hold me so softly and comfort me so sweetly with those same hands.

I know every callous, every crookedly mended bone, every hang-nail and every hair. I held your hands so long that mine now feel so empty. Whose hands will I hold now? Who will show me reassurance and comfort just with the touch of a hand?

You have my initials tattooed on your ring finger because you couldn't wear your wedding ring while at work. I think I was more touched by the permanence of this than by our own wedding.

I know have your wedding ring on a necklace around my neck. My own wedding ring that I have never removed since you put it on is a size 6 1/2. Your size 15 ring is a comforting weight around my neck.

I miss your hands. I miss you.

Thank you so much for all the words of support and comfort from you all. I do read them and would so love to reply but I just can't right now. You have all touched me so deeply and I can't express how comforting to know that there are people thinking of me and my little family. Thank you.